<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Spark by JustJim, Useless_girl</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523542">Spark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJim/pseuds/JustJim'>JustJim</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl'>Useless_girl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Home Is Where the Spark Is [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teen Wolf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged up characters, Alpha Derek, Angels, Angst, Dark, Demons, Derek has a daughter, Derek is Derek, Detective Stiles, Established Friendship, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Stiles, Miscommunication, PTSD, R (explicit), Sarcasm, Slash, Spark Stiles, Stiles is Stiles, Supernatural (the TV show) lore, Supernatural - Freeform, Werewolves, Wit, canon and non-canon elements, domestic life, m/m - Freeform, matured Stiles, post-Teen Wolf, sterek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:02:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustJim/pseuds/JustJim, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_girl/pseuds/Useless_girl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles gets a taste of the Hale family life, is shocked by information Derek shares with him and the sexual tension between them reaches its peak.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Home Is Where the Spark Is [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>213</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 2:Spark - part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>Note:</strong> This is the second part of the “<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607563">Home Is Where the Spark Is</a>” series. To understand better what’s going on, we recommend reading the previous entry. Enjoy!</p>
<p><strong>Note 2:</strong> A special thanks and big hug goes out to our friend Wendy, who played Derek’s daughter in this part! &lt;3</p>
<p><strong>Fandoms: </strong>Teen Wolf, Sterek</p>
<p><strong>Characters/relationships:</strong> Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale, Sheriff Noah Stilinski, original character</p>
<p><strong>Rating/category: </strong>R (explicit), supernatural, post-Teen Wolf, canon and non-canon elements, slash, M/M, Sterek, aged up characters, established friendship, Spark Stiles, Magic Stiles, detective Stiles, matured Stiles, Alpha Derek, hurt/comfort, angst, dark, PTSD, Derek has a daughter, domestic life, werewolves, demons, angels, humor, wit, sarcasm, Derek is Derek, Stiles is Stiles, miscommunication, Supernatural (the TV show) lore</p>
<p><strong>Summary:</strong> Stiles gets a taste of the Hale family life, is shocked by information Derek shares with him and the sexual tension between them reaches its peak.</p>
<p><strong>Disclaimer:</strong> This is a product of our imagination and was written only for entertainment and fun. We don’t profit from this fanfiction and we mean no harm or disrespect against any real person, culture or custom that might appear in the story. All original pictures and fictional characters used in the story belong to their respective owners and credit goes to them.</p>
<hr/>
<p><strong> <br/></strong> <a href="https://66.media.tumblr.com/224125f5d76894f7333ba23dd41e7196/tumblr_po61qcyU8A1qmis9eo1_1280.png"> <em>JustJim edit</em> </a> </p>
<p><strong>Home Is Where the Spark Is<br/></strong> <em>by Just Jim and Useless-girl</em></p>
<p>
  <strong>2: Spark – part 1</strong>
</p>
<p>As expected, it had been a restless night with a lot of tossing and turning while the human was downstairs typing away on his laptop. The sound was a familiarity, as was the scent of coffee drifting in the house combined with the sugary scent of energy drinks. Something Derek himself had never even tried because it smelled so chemical he wondered how Stiles was still alive consuming them like water. It never made him hyperactive though, sometimes overdosing on his meds did, or if he didn’t take his medication at all. So nobody complained about his unhealthy intake, they didn’t suffer the consequences. At some point, Derek did find sleep, the rhythmic typing lulling him to a sense of familiarity. <br/><br/>Morning came way too soon, though surprisingly he was up before Elizabeth. She was still sleeping so he shuffled half-awake downstairs to make some much needed coffee. He wasn’t a morning person, not before the coffee intake, and even then he preferred to not have early mornings. He was a night person for a very good reason.</p>
<p>There was an impromptu pause when he spotted Stiles on the couch, sprawled out in a pose which looked very uncomfortable but the human was happily snoring away. Dressed in only a T-shirt and boxer shorts with little wolves on it, which made him snort softly. Of course he’d have wolves on his underwear.<br/><br/>The laptop was still opened on the coffee table but the screen was black, probably suffering from an empty battery, like its owner. Stiles smacked loudly with his mouth and found another position, making Derek freeze and almost not daring to breathe. Which was ridiculous because he was a very quiet werewolf.</p>
<p>Maybe he should have dressed into more than just sweatpants but to be fair, he was used to sharing the house with only the sheriff and his daughter, the former usually gone in the mornings. There came some mutters from the sleeping man, intangible words he even couldn’t understand nor did he try to. Stiles was even a lively sleeper, something he had known for a while since they went back a lot of years. And then, just as Derek was going to walk to the kitchen to get some coffee instead of ogling the man he was never going to have, Stiles talked. Really talked.<br/><br/>“Derek,” he said and the other man froze. Was he awake? Turning his head he looked at the human, but he wasn’t awake at all. Still very much asleep, dreaming this time with the way the eyes rapidly moved behind the closed eyelids. “Fix you... Love you...” There were more words, but they were nothing he could understand. He was too fixated on the <em>love you</em> part. Oh nononono. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, Stiles wasn’t supposed to return the feelings. Derek would ruin him, would ruin them and the friendship they had together. Distraught, he walked into the kitchen, moving almost zombie-like to set the table and make coffee.<br/><br/>Worse thing was, there was no excuse about being underage anymore. Technically nothing was stopping him. Except his own hang-ups, and they were near paralyzing.</p>
<p><em>He made that promise to him. He wasn't going to back out of it. Even if he had to go to extreme lengths to deliver. He saw a very fucking rare smile from Derek then all of a sudden he was gone and Stiles looked around alerted, running out of the room. He found himself on a long narrow corridor. It was dark, but at the end of it the outlines of a door was lit by something from behind. It was glowing in red and yellow. The colors of fire. He began running towards it, but he felt like someone put weights onto his legs. He was too slow. Too weak to run faster. Air became thin for him as he strained against the invisible force slowing him down. He had to reach that door. He had to find Derek! And with that thought his fingers suddenly grabbed the knob and he tore the door open.<br/><br/>"No!" he uttered on a shaky voice, watching as Derek glimpsed back at him over his shoulder, a fiery portal open and swirling right in front of him. His eyes were glowing in red. That sad look was cutting right into Stiles' soul. "No!!!" he tried to run, one hand reaching out to stop Derek, but he stepped into the portal...</em><br/><br/>Stiles landed on the living room floor with a loud thud and a painful "ouch". It took him a moment to realize where he was and what just happened. Dream and reality washing together. "Thank fuck..." he breathed, still lying on the floor as he rubbed a hand over his face and hair, a relieved sigh escaping him.<br/><br/>It was just a dream. Just a freaking, twisted, awful dream. More precisely a nightmare. He was used to those.<br/><br/>Dropping his hand back onto his flat stomach, he stared up at the ceiling, concentrating on calming his breathing. And listening to the quiet sounds of someone moving around in the kitchen. Hopefully preparing coffee. And maybe breakfast? Even if not, he needed coffee. A lot. Preferably in an IV bag which he could carry around all day. Judging by the light throbbing of his head, he was going to need it.</p>
<p>With how Stiles had been moving around, it was a miracle for it to take this long to crash on the floor. The loud thud didn't make Derek run to check, he knew it was Stiles getting a rude awakening. It made him chuckle how it took a solid five minutes of silence for the human to stir again as he was considering his life choices on the living room floor.<br/><br/>Said human was too sleepy yet to put more clothes on, instead he relied on his nose which detected the wonderful scent of coffee swirling out of the kitchen, singing its siren song, calling for him. And he followed without hesitation, pushing down the growing need to check on Derek.<br/><br/>Instead of finding his dad by the counter, his eyes fell on the familiar Triskelion tattoo in the middle of the very naked and still broad back of the wolf in question.</p>
<p>"Oh thank fuck you are okay..." he sighed and shuffled up right next to Derek to get closer to the brewing coffee, watching in religious awe as it started to drip. "Coffee is life..." he mumbled more to himself, not noticing just how close he was to Derek. Only the heat of his side and his familiar scent registered in Stiles' still half-asleep brain.</p>
<p>Meanwhile Derek was working on throwing together the batter for pancakes because Elizabeth didn't like cereal in the mornings. She wanted pancakes and refused to eat anything else. Sometimes waffles if he was lucky, but only the freshly made ones. Considering the fact she needed to eat, he made her breakfast like this every morning. Arching his eyebrows, Derek watched Stiles press in close to get intimate with both the coffee maker and the werewolf.<br/><br/>He still smelled like sleep. Sleep and sweat and the older man wanted to lean in to get more of a whiff, wanted to press his nose against the long lean neck. Only he didn't. Instead he put a mug on the kitchen counter for Stiles to grab while he moved away to the stove. The pleasant warmth against his hip instantly gone.</p>
<p>"I'm still alive," he grunted at the whole ‘thank fuck you're okay’ comment. It would explain some of the words he had overheard. Maybe Stiles had thought he was dying and had to confess, but Derek had overheard it by accident.<br/><br/><em>Play it cool</em>, he told himself as he heated up oil, not butter, to bake the pancakes in. Derek was a responsible eater, butter was bad for the sheriff's arteries and oil made it so much more healthier. Pouring the batter in to make two pancakes, he started setting the table, flipping the pancakes at the same time. He knew Noah would wake as soon as the smell of the food drifted upstairs and then Beth would be joining the fray. He flipped the pancakes on a plate and made two more. "Do you need some time alone with the coffee maker?"</p>
<p>"I'm seriously considering it..." Stiles murmured, not taking his eyes off the dark liquid as he blindly pulled the mug under his nose, by then leaning on the counter with both arms, upper-body bending forward, which made his T-shirt ride up a bit on his waist. His naked feet were lightly tapping against the tiled floor in impatience as he yawned.</p>
<p>The second the telltale hissing started, Stiles slammed the button to switch off the machine. He straightened up to put three cubes of sugar into his mug and pulled the one Derek probably put there for himself closer too. He poured a good amount of black coffee in that first then he made his own too, adding a splash of milk to it.<br/><br/>Only after the first sip – and some seriously obscene noises – did he turn around to look at the half-naked man. <em>Oh boy</em>...<br/><br/>The way Stiles took his coffee hadn't changed, forever too sweet with enough milk to call it a latte. It was why the human was also so fond of Starbucks. It was right up his alley, lots of sugar and milk and not enough coffee. While Derek preferred his coffee dark and strong, because it wouldn't work on him otherwise. The jolt of caffeine had to be strong and even then it was just that, a jolt. It was more the ritual of taking a moment to wake up than the actual coffee. As he was about to reach for his mug, Stiles had to moan.<br/><br/>A filthy moan of pure enjoyment over his sip of coffee. Yeah, his heart and body really liked that. Derek loved how Stiles always would enjoy whatever he ate or drank, never doing anything without full conviction, but he also had no idea how stimulating it was. He used his fingers for everything, licked them off ALL the time, and the noises... Long two weeks.<br/><br/>"Did fatherhood make you a kitchen fairy? Because it suits you..." Stiles grinned from behind his mug, shamelessly admiring the view. Truth be told, this felt... rather homey. The two of them in the kitchen early in the morning. Playing house before work. It was just a fantasy, but yeah... a good one at that. But it still made the young detective's throat tighten as he imagined how it could be. How it will never be.<br/><br/>"But I have to thank you for keeping my dad fed," he added instead and took the other mug to place it next to Derek by the stove before Stiles made a bee-line towards the table to watch him work from a more comfortable position. He felt like he had a few more moments to feast his eyes on the half-naked subject of his wet dreams before Derek finished or his dad came in or perhaps Elizabeth woke up.</p>
<p>Pointing the spatula at Stiles as if it was a weapon, Derek gave a pointed look. "I was able to cook before. I just didn't have a kitchen." There was so much Stiles didn't know, much many didn't know about Derek. He could not only cook, he also was good at it and he knew it. He felt the eyes on him while he worked on making enough pancakes to feed the big eaters in the house and he relaxed a little more. At least this part he was used to, the persistent ogling. Though it was slightly different now, they were both adults and weren't doing anything wrong by it anymore.<br/><br/>"I don't mind feeding your dad since he took care of me and Elizabeth when I couldn't, so it's the least I could do. And he's really a terrible cook." The last part was added with a laugh because he had never met a man capable of burning a grilled cheese sandwich until he met Noah Stilinski.</p>
<p>"Oh really? I wonder how many hidden talents Derek Hale still has," Stiles grinned more awake now and if his tone was a little flirty then... oh fuck it! He couldn't help himself. This... "new" Derek seemed a tiny bit more open towards him, so he just let himself enjoy that fact with such comments. Perhaps his disturbing dream and the relief that it was just a dream played into that too.<br/><br/>But for a long moment he did wonder just how much he didn't know about Derek yet. And if he was going to get the opportunity to 'unravel some further mysteries' regarding him. And yes, he totally thought that on a dramatic voice in his head, nearly making himself giggle. He had such a brilliant humor...<br/><br/>"They wouldn't be hidden if I told you," Derek pointed out, mostly to cover up having to play twenty questions with Stiles this early in the morning. The stack of pancakes was promising enough, so he turned the stove off to sip from his coffee, reaching for the sugar and syrup and adding a bowl of berries from the fridge to the set table.</p>
<p>"True. And oh don't get me started on his lack of cooking skills! It's a wonder that I survived as a child while growing up with him!" Stiles did chuckle this time, running a hand through his messy bedhead, making it look even messier. "On several occasions the smoke alarm went off like crazy and we ended up eating takeout food or ordered a pizza. So I've learned from books and TV channels early on how to cook too. Maybe while I'm home, you could make dinner to prove yourself further that you deserve the warmth of our little home," he teased with some challenge in his voice. "Which reminds me that I'll probably have to go shopping for healthy food supplies. I sampled that pizza last night. It was already two days old yesterday," he pulled his brows together with a disapproving look then sipped from his coffee, carefully placing it back on the table.</p>
<p>Derek needed a few more sips before he was ready for an actual intelligent conversation. "I'll make dinner and you'll never want to leave again."</p>
<p>It was the usual light banter they always latched into, only this time there was some flirty tension building, Derek at least recognized that much. But instead of shutting it down as he should have, he responded to it, stupidly. It was easy, too easy. They shouldn't do this but here they were, doing it. Flirting in the early morning while he knew the human was going to leave again.<br/><br/>"So... what's your plan for today? We obviously crossed out the shopping for the mattress from the list since you're staying in my room," Stiles mused, the speed of his talking picking up pace, which meant that the coffee was starting to work and his brain was getting fired up. "We should also talk a bit more. I have questions to narrow down my search," he said, nearly sounding like his dad when he was in "Sheriff-mode".<br/><br/>She turned over in her crib, her dreams being interrupted by something but she was unsure what it was. Elizabeth's eyes popped open and she sat up, her little nose sniffing the air. "Pa-cake," she said with an enthusiastic smile. "Da!" she called out but was too eager to wait for him to come and get her. She pulled herself up and got her little PJ-covered leg on the top rail of her crib. Her growling belly eager to be filled, she managed to climb over the railing and plop down onto the soft carpet below. Getting to her feet she pattered to the hallway and sat down at the top of the stairs to scoot herself down like Daddy had showed her.<br/><br/>Once she got to the bottom she ran to the kitchen, "Daddy! Daddy!" she called out as she came into the kitchen, but stopped quick when she saw someone else there that wasn't Noah. She did not know this man. Having been so excited to fill her belly with pancakes, she had not sniffed out the unfamiliar scent at all.</p>
<p>"Plan is shopping, apparently." Derek wanted to say more but he angled his head, listening in. The little werewolf was up, calling for him. No need to bother this time, because despite his continued warnings to wait for him, she climbed out of her bed with the agility a toddler shouldn't have and he heard the little patter of her feet on the carpet as she rushed downstairs. It's why Derek hadn't bothered with blocking the stairs, she'd climb over those as well. Werewolf children were notorious for their Houdini moves. It made baby proofing a house very difficult.</p>
<p>Putting the mug down, he pulled the children's chair over to the table and squatted down, in perfect timing with Elizabeth running in with her little chubby arms outstretched for him. She comically paused halfway when spotting Stiles and he snorted at her look, grabbing her while he stood to hoist her on his hip. The youngest Hale was a perfect copy of her father, with big green eyes and dark hair, only she smiled way more than he did. He nuzzled her in greeting, inhaling her scent.<br/><br/>"Cub, meet Stiles. Remember Grandpa Noah telling you about his kid? He came to visit us. Say hi to Stiles."</p>
<p>She looked at Stiles and then back at Daddy confused. She remembered grandpa Noah saying he had a kid, but she thought a kid meant he would be small like her. "Sty?" she said and pointed to him. "He kid?" Her belly rumbled again and she spotted the pancakes on the table. Squirming in Daddy's arms, she reached out for them. "I eat."</p>
<p>Stiles wanted to say something witty (and probably flirty) back while being busy slightly blushing, but all of a sudden they were interrupted by the cutest little girl confidently marching into the kitchen on her tiny feet. His mind abruptly halted for a second, watching in awe. He could see what Derek meant that she was a carbon copy of him, but Stiles could also spot Lydia in her features. Like the big size of her eyes and her cheeky smile once she spotted her father.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The young man cradled his mug in silence as he watched Derek interact with his daughter. He seemed like a completely different man from the grumpy wolf he had learned to know during the years. Stiles detected a kind of softness in the similar green eyes, which was probably there only for his daughter. The eyes of a proud and loving father. Stiles remembered his dad looking at him like that at times. Most recently when he was appointed as a detective for the SFPD.<br/><br/>"Hi, Elizabeth. Yes, I'm Stiles. Grandpa Noah's kid," he smiled widely, secretly very amused from the fact that his dad was called 'grandpa'. It also made his head swirl a bit as it opened up a new series of teasing both towards his dad and Derek. Not to mention the possible little 'family fantasies' Stiles could come up with on his sleepless nights. "Yes, tell daddy that it's time he fills our belly with those yummy pancakes. He's been making me wait for soooo long for it," the younger man said with a dramatic huff. "Can you believe him?"</p>
<p>"You sit first," Derek told her when she squirmed to get to the pancakes. If he let her, she'd grab them with her hands and start stuffing them into her mouth while standing on the dining table. They were still working on the manners part, because she was more like a wild wolf at times. With a swing he transferred her from his hip to the chair, strapping her in so she would stay for a bit. "You," he pointed at Stiles with that "can wait a little bit longer."<br/><br/>Stiles outright pouted from Derek making him wait longer, but there was a smile lurking on his face and in his amber eyes. Of course he would wait in exchange of watching the father-daughter duo interact with each other. It was truly adorable and Stiles felt himself quietly melting into a puddle. Who would have thought that 'daddy Derek' was such a sight to behold too? He was absolutely sure that only very few had the privilege to see him like this. And the fact that he was one of them filled his heart with warmth.<br/><br/>Derek put a pancake on Elizabeth's plate, which of course had to be pink with unicorns, dripping some syrup on it before he cut it into pieces. Tiny little pieces. She couldn't hold a fork yet, not without stabbing herself in the cheek with it. Luckily he had gotten her plastic utensils instead of the fancy silver ones with babies’ names engraved on it. Derek gave her the pink plastic fork nevertheless, because that was the deal. She'd try for a little bit and then she could eat with her hands or Derek would feed her, it depended on her mood. But before he handed the plate over, he got a bib from a cabinet, tying it around her neck. She'd still need a bath and fresh clothes though, so half the time he had no idea why he even bothered.<br/><br/>Finally she could have the plate to fill that growling belly of hers. The final task was to fill her sippy cup with orange juice and putting that before her as well so she had everything she needed for the next five minutes. Probably. Derek sat down next to her and put some pancakes on Stiles' plate, followed by making a happy face with berries.</p>
<p>"Fill your belly, Stiles." There was a teasing note to his voice as he ruffled Elizabeth's hair, which was a mess anyways.</p>
<p>Stiles had a soft – maybe a bit dreamy – smile as he watched Derek getting creative on his plate too with the smiley face and his smile turned into a wide grin, his amber eyes flashing up at him playfully from the teasing undertone.<br/><br/>"Who are you and what did you do to Derek?" Stiles whispered while pulling his plate to him. Picking up his fork and knife, he dug in and of course groaned with delight from the first bite. "Hey, no wonder that the little missy wants to eat this every morning. These are very good..." he mumbled through his bite and stuffed some more pancake into his mouth, eyes closing for a moment or two to fully enjoy the taste exploding on his tongue.<br/><br/>Elizabeth scowled at the little pink thing in her hands. Daddy always wanted her to use it, but it was not easy. Still, she liked making Daddy happy and tried to stab the food with it. When she managed to get a piece on it and bring it up to her mouth, it fell off. Growling softly she tossed the plastic fork onto the floor and grabbed the pancake pieces with her little fingers, stuffing them into her mouth. "It good!" she said as she spotted the berries he put on the other plate. "Want dat!" she said pointing to them. She loved berries but he had not put any on her plate.<br/><br/>Maybe Derek should adjust the rule of trying to use the fork to trying it for a couple of bites since it was thrown the moment she failed. But, she had tried and that was the rule after all so he couldn't scold her for it and she knew it, she definitely had Lydia's intelligence. As she was happily stuffing her mouth with pancake, he dared to put one on his own plate because eating with the little one was usually too much of an adventure to be able to eat a full meal.</p>
<p>Sprinkling some berries on it, he managed to get one bite in, before he noticed Stiles still staring at him. Mid-chew, he blinked, looking at the other who had the softest look in his eyes, as if he was looking at puppies. Very cute puppies.<br/><br/>There was no answer to give. Instead he flashed a look at the words, which showed that yes, he was still Derek. He knew he had changed though, and it didn't seem like such a bad thing? It was hard to say with how few people saw him like this, but Noah and Elizabeth seemed to be fine with it and Stiles was practically turning to goo in his chair. He was giving off so many fuzzy feelings that the wolf nearly choked on the next bite. Though that could also be because of the pornographic noises that erupted when Stiles took a bite of his food.</p>
<p>Looking down at the unicorns on the plate Beth smiled. "They eat," she mumbled with her mouth full of pancake as she used her fingers to smash some onto the unicorn. Elizabeth giggled and shoved more pancake into her own mouth. When she had finished what Daddy had given her, she lifted the plate setting it onto her head, the sticky syrup dripping down into her hair. "Oops," she said as some ran down her face and onto her nose. She stuck out her tongue to try and lick it.</p>
<p>Stiles looked up just to catch the way the little girl's hair got all sticky from the syrup and he outright giggled from that tiny tongue trying to reach the dripping goodness. "So damn adorable, indeed."</p>
<p>Elizabeth happily took the distraction to paint herself with the sticky syrup. Why did Derek bother with a bib again? "Yeah, oops. Now you're all sticky." Two bites was kind of a record though. Usually he had at least the time for three bites before she'd get herself into a mess.</p>
<p>"Let's get you cleaned up a little before I can get you berries." Getting a towel wet under the tap, he managed to rescue her cup from her grabby hands before it would wet her lap and he cleaned her face a little. No use trying with the rest, it needed more than just a cloth. "Maybe I should eat you. You taste like yummy syrup now." With a playful growl at her, her plate appeared with berries and another pancake she wouldn't eat but demand to have anyways.<br/><br/>She giggled and squealed when Daddy said he would eat her. He was always funny! She was happy when he gave her a new pancake and some of the red berries. She grabbed a berry in each hand and put them into her mouth, the juiciness exploding on her tongue. "Mmmm," she said.</p>
<p>"Stiles wants to make dinner for us so we're going to the store today, okay Beth? We can go to the playground before that so you can show Stiles how to use the slide."</p>
<p>The little girl nodded enthusiastically to that with one sticky hand stuffing more berries into her mouth before picking up a berry and throwing it at Stiles. It bounced off his head and she giggled.</p>
<p>Okay, there it was, that familiar grumpy look. It meant Derek was still there inside. It made Stiles grin again before he quickly shoveled some more food into his mouth. It was indeed great and the free family movie he could watch was the perfect background for a perfect breakfast. As he was watching the other two interact with each other, the tight bond was clear as day there. It wasn't just the fact that they were biologically related. It was also the closeness of that bond and the love between them which made this scene so sweet and moving.<br/><br/>Stiles knew that Derek had had a very difficult and painful past. It was written in his scowls, the angry lines of his eyebrows when they pulled together, the tightening of his jaw, the small barely there wrinkles around his mouth. But not when he was with Beth. Stiles could notice the huge difference. The way the other man's face lit up and his whole being softened when he was taking care of the little girl who looked so much like him. No DNA test was needed there...<br/><br/>And it made Stiles wonder just how much someone can change with time. Derek Hale did change, but he thought for the better. Stiles would've liked to keep it that way. He wanted to see this duo happy like this for as long as it was possible. It only strengthened his resolve to help Derek get back the missing half of his soul. Because if someone could love a child so much with half a soul, imagine how it could be with a whole one...<br/><br/>The detective was awakened from his reverie by a berry hitting his forehead. "Oh no! Mayday, mayday! We've got hit, captain! I think we're sinking!" Stiles dropped his fork and knife and began sliding down on his chair, humoring the little girl, until he disappeared under the table, only one hand visible, the fingers curling into a wave as if saying 'bye' before it "sunk" too.</p>
<p>She had not expected such a reaction but overjoyed nonetheless. She shrieked and giggled as Stiles played along and when he went under the table she leaned over the side of her chair as far as she could to try and see him.</p>
<p>Not that Derek had been worried for a moment that Stiles and Elizabeth wouldn't get along, but it was nice to see the human was as natural with kids as he had been. Not that it was a surprise with Stiles, he got along with everybody, a forever kid at heart, Peter Pan in the flesh. And the toddler was completely mesmerized by him ten minutes into meeting him.<br/><br/>Unstrapping her, he lifted her out of the chair to set her on the ground. "Stiles is very ticklish, go get him cub!" There was zero regret to sick his daughter onto the giggling guy on the floor because it meant he could eat a few pancakes while she would throw herself onto him and attempt to tickle him. Attempt. Because she wasn't good at tickling, didn't understand how it worked so she'd just poke her tiny hands at random spots while announcing she was tickling so people would at least know what she was trying to do. Tiring her out like this was the best way to make sure she'd get an hour or two of naptime in the afternoon.<br/><br/>Pleased with the outcome of this, he ate a few more bites, grinning at the sheriff when he came downstairs. The man wasn't even surprised at the ruckus coming from under the table, instead got himself coffee and the paper as he settled at the table to fill his plate.</p>
<p>"Oh no! If sinking wasn't enough, now we are attacked by a sea monster, captain!" Stiles played along, wiggling and giggling under the toddler's small hands, careful not to accidentally shove her. "But I think I have a way to escape the sea monster!" and with that Stiles began gently tickling back Beth, making her squeak and giggle with joy.</p>
<p>“Tick, tick, tick," she laughed as she poked him mercilessly under the table. Little laughs and shrieks coming from her as she launched herself at him over and over. She growled when he called her a sea monster, but laughter kept interrupting it.</p>
<p>Hearing the clinking of a fork against the plate, Stiles figured Derek used this time to quickly eat too. Then judged by the extra pair of legs in brown uniform pants, he knew his dad had joined them too.</p>
<p>Then Stiles suddenly stopped, perking his head up as if listening to something. "Captain... hear that? I think it's the rescue boat! Maybe we can survive this. But... this little sea monster is too cute. Maybe we should take her with us! You agree? Good! Then let them pull us out to the surface!" Stiles exclaimed and gently reached under Beth's armpits so he could lift her off the ground, first kneeling up then standing, steadily lifting her while he made a whooshing sound with his mouth.<br/><br/>"We are saved!" he announced on a cheerful tone as they 'reached the surface', making her sit on his forearm. "And we're gonna definitely keep this cutie right here..." he smiled down warmly at the little girl. "I wonder if later she'll show us how she can use that slide. Will you?" he asked Beth as he sat down in his chair with her still on his arm. "Oh morning, dad. Haven't seen you there. You could've helped the rescue boat to get here faster. What kind of a Sheriff are you?" he grinned.</p>
<p> When he stood up with her announcing them saved, she threw up her hands and cheered. She noticed grandpa had come into the room and she waved to him and pointed to Stiles, "Sty."</p>
<p>Noah has been reading the newspaper calmly, ignoring all the storytelling going on under the table with the patience of a saint. He was probably used to it since Derek couldn't imagine Stiles being a quiet kid at all. And though the story was amusing, he knew Elizabeth would only understand half of it, it was too long and she would focus on some of the words. It was a cute try from the young human, though, and he said nothing as he tackled a few more pancakes meanwhile. It was so good to be able to eat enough to be full, it kept him busy and quiet.<br/><br/>"The working kind, son," Noah drawled at his kid with a sigh, folding the newspaper and finishing his coffee. Breakfast for him seemed to be to go because he was already putting a few pancakes in paper towels. "You three, behave, I don't want to get a call about two hoodlums with a baby terrorizing the playground."<br/><br/>"No promises, we might make a few eat sand," Derek said.<br/><br/>"That's what I was afraid of," Stilinski retorted in a good mood as he took off to work. Though Derek had a distinct feeling Noah had gotten up late on purpose, because he usually would take more time for breakfast. The question was, why?<br/><br/>"Oh yes! If they get too annoying," Stiles chuckled then sighed. "Alright, grandpa, go catch some bad guys," he rolled his eyes with a smirk and waved with his free hand, curious if Beth would copy it. She really was the cutest little girl he had ever seen. And looking so much like Derek in small that only looking at her warmed his heart.<br/><br/>"I think we all need to clean up and get dressed before she can show anything. You two are covered in syrup." There was some temptation to shove both in one bath, but that would be such a bad idea. Seeing Stiles naked would be... Yeah, not a good idea. He was already planning their future in his head because of seeing Stiles with Beth and how great the two were doing.</p>
<p>Stiles got so lost in watching Beth that he totally missed when his dad left or the dreamy look in Derek's eyes as he was watching them. "I think cleaning the little sea monster would be good before we stick together," the younger man chuckled softly and gently put her down when she started fidgeting on his arm. He instinctively felt that she wanted to get going. "Go, do what's have to be done in the bath tub. I'll clean up here, write a shopping list then take a shower in the downstairs bathroom," he announced with a big smile on his face, which made him look like his younger teenager self again.<br/><br/>His mood did improve and his heart became lighter since he came back home. Maybe he should visit more often. Especially now that Derek and Beth were going to stay. Stiles just hoped Derek really meant that as he drank the remaining lukewarm coffee then picked up the plates to quickly wash them along with the pan and mugs.<br/><br/>He had to be careful not to let himself get too used to this. Because if he did, he totally would fall head over heels with these two and wouldn't ever be able to go back to San Francisco. Not that aside from the small flirting-like moments Derek ever expressed any interest in him. Which sucked, but for a brief moment Stiles allowed himself to entertain the idea of moving back permanently. If he had something to move back to. But of course he had his own life and obligations at work. He couldn't just stay.<br/><br/>That thought made him exhale inaudibly, but he didn't let it burst his little happy bubble and he made his shoulders relax again as he began quickly doing the dishes, watching the father-daughter duo leave the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Let's get you cleaned up, little monster." Derek picked her up because if she had to walk to the bathroom, that would take a while, more like forever. There was nothing salvageable to avoid a bath so that's where Derek took her, to the bathroom as he started on the bath. "We're going to take one together, okay cub?" It would save on water and time and they often did it like this even though he wasn't so fond of having to get clean in a small bit of water. But she was too tiny to fill it up.<br/><br/>Reaching for a small plastic basket, he got out her bath toys to put in the water because there was no way she'd be willing to get in there without them. The soap and shampoo followed, the kind that wouldn't sting her eyes and he often used it himself to get her to agree to it, so he smelled like strawberry after bath time like she did.</p>
<p>"Let's get your clothes off, and that diaper because that needs a clean one." Yeah, breakfast had done its job, clearly. Taking off her pajamas, he was quick with the diaper so he could fold it up and throw it in the diaper bucket. That smell did not get any easier, ever.<br/><br/>He got rid of his own pants and grabbed the smelly toddler to swing her into the bath with a whooshing sound while he got in as well. Maybe this time he got lucky and she wouldn't demand the glittery soap – he regretted buying it for her, so much. With a cup he gently rinsed her hair. It was so sticky though, it might need a repeat washing to get it all out.</p>
<p>"Oh no, I forgot how to wash your hair, I think you need to show me how to with your dolly one more time. And I'll do it while you wash her hair."</p>
<p>Beth giggled and reached for her dolly to wash her hair like Daddy was washing hers. She liked the sweet smelling soap he used. "Berry," she laughed as the scent tickled her sensitive nose. She splashed the water and dunked her dolly's head under the water to wash her. "Oh no!" she said, her little eyes opening wide as she looked down at her Dolly under the water. "I save!" she pulled her up and held her dolly close to her. "She ‘k," Elizabeth looked around and then at her dad. "Sparkle soap?" she asked, not seeing it anywhere. She liked the way it left little shiny sparkles on her skin after using it.</p>
<p>While washing Beth’s hair, Derek’s thoughts started wandering, but then quickly ignored the thought of Stiles getting ready downstairs, of how he had muttered ‘love you’ in his sleep. How he’s been flirting at breakfast. Because it was a bad idea. Derek wouldn't be good for him, the human would get hurt. He had his life nicely set up, made it to detective in San Francisco, and he didn't need the complications of a werewolf alpha with his hybrid daughter. A werewolf whom had just gotten out of a relationship and should know better. Stomping down on his feelings, he focused on washing the sticky hair of Beth while she was busy with her doll.<br/><br/>"Of course, cub, I'll add the sparkle soap." The smile he gave her was probably more of a toothpaste ad, but he did add the soap because she asked him to. Glitter looked cute on her, and it really did make the skin all shiny as the bottle said, which was less cute when you were a six foot tall muscular werewolf. One who also smelled like strawberries, because all the pink soap and shampoo had that scent, or raspberry but that usually was way too chemically scented to be nice for sensitive noses. "Look at that, magic water."<br/><br/>With the shower head he washed his own hair to avoid getting sparkles in there too while she played rescuing her doll a little longer, splashing around enough to get clean everywhere. After that came the adventure of drying off a wriggling body, putting a clean diaper on her. She loved being sparkly and smelling like berries. She didn't like being dried with the towels though and tried to slip out of Daddy's grasp, giggling and growling as she struggled. Then once they were ready, Derek ushered her to her own room.</p>
<p>"Daddy will be right there."<br/><br/>It was the usual for Derek. His morning routine was not as long as some might think. He'd put some product in his hair, use unscented deodorant, brush his teeth, get dressed. Every other day he'd use an electrical razor on the thick stubble and that was it. Derek didn't even use a mirror for it. Donned in the usual jeans with henley, he made sure Beth was dressed too, letting her pick between two choices only. Otherwise she'd be dressed like it was Halloween every day.</p>
<p>"Stiles is going to stay for a bit, so we're going to be friends with him, right? He'll want to spend some time with grandpa, but grandpa will still love you a lot even when he's busy."</p>
<p>Once she was in her room all cleaned, dressed, and diapered, Beth looked up at him, "Sty friend," she said and smiled remembering how funny Sty was at breakfast. "No bite Sty," she added.</p>
<p>"No bite Stiles," Derek repeated with a nod, packing up the diaper bag. As any good parent, he made sure he had enough diapers in there and a change of clothes for her. At least she didn't need bottles anymore. The diaper bag was a simple canvas messenger bag, because Derek wasn't going to be walking around with pink or anything brightly colored. Nope. This worked way better. Her stroller was in his car, folded up so they were all set, since it was too warm for a coat for her. "Okay, we're all done. You go run to Stiles and see if he's ready."<br/><br/>Derek quickly made her bed and his own without Elizabeth crawling in like a cat and undoing it all again. Having an extra person here was actually nice. It gave him the little bit of extra time he needed to do things for himself. Like eat and personal hygiene. Though he was sure Stiles wasn't interested in spending all of his two weeks with them, since he had friends to catch up with as well.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2:Spark - part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2: Spark – part 2</strong>
</p>
<p>Meanwhile Stiles finished with the cleaning up and quickly looked around in the kitchen and pantry to see what he had to buy for the dinner he was planning on cooking that evening. As he suspected, they were low on fresh vegetables and fruit, although he guessed that the smaller amount they had were mostly for Beth.<br/><br/>As he left the kitchen, he paused by the stairs for a moment, looking up as he heard the faint sounds of talking and splashing water. Stiles took a deep breath and swallowed hard as out of the blue a naked Derek's picture flashed in front of his eyes. "Down boy..." he murmured to himself and shook his head. He really shouldn't go there right now. Or maybe ever. Not that he never fantasized about some hot steamy scenarios between the two of them a few years back. Not that he hadn't touched himself while doing so. But he tried to put that down to the raging teenager hormones and coming to terms with absolute certainty that he liked boys too – especially one Derek Hale. It was a frustrating period of his life.<br/><br/>Being away helped on that somewhat. Or at least helped pushing Derek's memory to the background. Not that he ever had more than a few flings and one-night-stands with men and women. He was too busy focusing on learning then on his work. He more or less managed to persuade himself that that was the case.<br/><br/>He should focus more on his work now too. He had a promise to fulfill. But obviously having a small kid in the house, who needs lots of attention was probably going to slow things down a bit. He also should go meet up with Scott and Lydia. He hasn't seen them for ages.<br/><br/>While thinking about these, he rummaged around in his duffel bag for some clean clothes, deodorant, his shower gel and shaving kit and soon occupied the downstairs bathroom. The hot water felt nice against his slightly rigid muscles. He probably slept in an awkward position before landing on the floor. The shower felt good after the long day and night. It made him wake up some more. With a sigh he shooed away the inappropriate picture of Derek stepping behind him to sniff and kiss his wet neck in the steamy bathroom and rather focused on quickly cleaning then drying himself.<br/><br/>It's going to be a long two weeks...</p>
<p>Stiles tried to hurry, not sure about how much time he had since he didn't know the father-daughter duo's morning schedule. After putting his toothbrush down, he quickly got dressed, ending up in a pair of comfortable old blue jeans, a simple dark grey T-shirt that had 'Nerd 4 Life' written across his chest in white and he put on a red hoodie which matched the color of his other pair of Converse sneakers.<br/><br/>As he was thinking about not wanting to intervene too much with the duo's daily rhythm, he had decided to lock away his gun in the safe. Maybe going to the playground and grocery shopping in Beacon Hills wasn't going to make it necessary to have it with him. Besides he was going to be with an alpha wolf and a hybrid kid. Stiles didn't doubt that the little girl could probably already scream everyone's head off if necessary. He couldn't be sure, but she was Lydia's kid too, so...<br/><br/>Just as he chuckled to himself and took off his phone from the charger to quickly check it, he heard the sounds of tiny approaching feet. Smiling, he leaned forward on the couch. "Look at that! What a sparkly and good smelling little sea monster!" he chuckled noticing the glitters on her soft skin. "Are you ready to go to the playground?" he asked.</p>
<p>The little sea monster had located Stiles on the couch and it's where Derek found them.</p>
<p>As he glanced up, Stiles couldn't help it, but his heart stuttered lightly once Derek walked into the living room and he caught that familiar scowl. He never denied that it was a good look on the older man. Stiles' mouth pulled into a big smile, promising some teasing despite that kinda warning look. Derek knew him and he knew Derek. Or at least a certain percent of him, so to say. But roughly in half a day, he had learned about his true self more than in years when they used to chase around monsters in Beacon Hills. It was kinda mind-blowing. Unexpected. Maybe a little bit weird too to see this softer side, but Stiles wasn't complaining. He was... enjoying this more than he thought he would.</p>
<p>There were going to be remarks, Derek knew it, since Elizabeth had a few too about her sparkly appearance. Only where she was smiling brightly, he scowled at Stiles to make it clear that being a dad came with certain sacrifices. Especially when having a daughter mostly being raised by himself. He could take some good-natured ribbing though, especially since he would dish some out himself when given the chance.<br/><br/>Beth was going to have fun with the playground, but he was sure the shopping trip was going to be the real adventure. Noah usually was the one taking her with and returned with bags full because she had wanted it. Reason one why the sugar in the Stilinski house was now colored pink instead of the usual white. The sheriff didn't have a grandchild of his own and seemed to be happy to play grandpa to a borrowed granddaughter, spoiling her rotten. In stores at least. Because when it came to enforcing rules, he followed Derek's rules for her without hesitation.<br/><br/>As father he was consistent in his rules, but lenient if he had to be. Elizabeth rarely pushed further than she was allowed, though. The climbing out of her crib was allowed somewhat, because he knew her werewolf self didn't like the idea of being locked in. So he warned her but he didn't punish her. There was not an ounce of evil in her after all.</p>
<p>"We should take my car, it's got her stroller." Which they probably wouldn't use because she'd want to sit in the cart of the store.</p>
<p>Elizabeth went over to Stiles and poked him, "Tick, tick," she said trying to tickle him and play the game they had done earlier. She giggled till she heard Daddy come into the room. "Go bye-bye?" she said, getting excited. She loved going bye-bye.</p>
<p>After humoring her with some laughing for the tickling attempts, Stiles took a moment to just watch her. He never really thought of having a family. His brain was usually too focused on other things. Like solving mysteries or saving the day. He was good with kids, yes, because he was still a big goof at heart, but he haven't really given too much thought about having an own child one day. A mini Stiles. That would certainly put his dad into the grave faster than red meat... But this 'family' set up was... nice. Even if he wasn't really a part of it. From the outside, they'd look like that. Two dads walking with their daughter. That realization made the pale cheeks color somewhat.<br/><br/>As much as the human considered Derek a mystery, he was one himself too. Because the random changed heartbeats were odd, so was the way he sometimes flushed for no apparent reason. Like he did just now and Derek couldn't see any reason for it, none of them had even said anything to make the flushing happen. He had stopped reacting to it a long time ago though, because then his eyebrows would never have a rest.<br/><br/>"Sure, let's go bye-bye," Stiles stood to hide his sudden embarrassment, helping Beth off the couch so she could walk over to her dad. Stiles used that time to grab his keys so he could lock up after them. Just as Derek passed him by the door, he whispered: "Didn't know that werewolves come in the sparkly version too..." and then smugly grinned up at Derek and quickly locked the door.</p>
<p>Derek held out his hand for his daughter to take as she came running over so he could help her outside. And then there was the anticipated remark, a little later than expected but it was there.</p>
<p>"It's why we're night creatures. We don't like to be seen sparkling," he sassed back easily, knowing Elizabeth couldn't follow it anyways because she was way too young for Twilight and he hoped she'd never get into it too much. It was a bad example for the werewolf community. And the vampires. And pretty much everybody.<br/><br/>Unlocking the car with a press of the button, he settled Elizabeth in her car seat, strapping her in for her own safety. "Get in, Stiles, the slide is waiting." His grin wasn't promising anything good. Because the playground was a toddler one so the slide was tiny and he was going to enjoy watching Stiles try to slide from that one. He knows from experience Elizabeth will make him participate in all of the things she likes.</p>
<p>She was excited to go to the park so she let Daddy lock her into her car seat without a fuss. "Slide!" she said happily as she watched them get into the car too. "Sty slide? Daddy slide?" she smiled as she looked out of the window.</p>
<p>"Ooooh, very good comeback!" the young detective chuckled as he sat next to Derek on the passenger seat. It was such a simple thing to do – nothing which they haven't done before dozens of times. But like a few years back, it made some nice fuzzy feelings unfurl in Stiles' stomach from the other man's closeness, stronger scent and he also could've sworn that he could even feel his body heat. A nice little addition to the scene. As he nestled into the comfortable seat, buckling himself up, the scene continued nearly the same way like in the past: some good-natured banter, but less babbling about everything and anything on Stiles' part. He wanted to enjoy this secret coziness he felt near the alpha. He had so little treasured moments like these only for himself.<br/><br/>He couldn't stop himself for long from looking at Derek as he started the car and they hit the road. He had a good profile. Very... manly and nearly like art – at least in Stiles' opinion.</p>
<p>"From your grin I suspect nothing good," he added then turned back enough to be able to glance at Beth. "We go sliding, yes!" he grinned at her, pumping a fist in the air before turning back to watch the familiar streets (and some people) pass by. It felt a bit strange, but good to be back again. He always felt this way every time he visited.<br/><br/>"We should also talk sometime today. About my questions and research and all that..." he murmured seemingly more to the windshield than to Derek. Playing family was nice, yes, but Stiles' never resting mind couldn't stay on one track for long.</p>
<p>It was weird how quiet Stiles was compared to before. There was still some restless energy thrumming beneath the skin Derek picked up on, but he was way more relaxed, less in motion. No nervous ticks like drumming his fingers on every surface or bouncing his knee all the time or the persistent babbling to avoid silence. Because before silence had made the human nervous, like it was a bad thing to be quiet around Derek. And now the wolf almost got nervous with how different Stiles was. The staring was nothing new though, that had happened all the time before as well. It was comforting in its familiarity.<br/><br/>Stealing a glance to the side as he drove towards the playground in town, he nodded because yeah, he figured talking had to happen.</p>
<p>"We can talk in a few hours when Beth's down for her nap." Before Stiles had to work on dinner, because Derek's days were very consistent. Weekdays were committed to his daughter and household chores Noah couldn't do, weekends Lydia was home from college and would spend her time with Beth, giving Derek some free time. There was therapy he went to once a week, sometimes Melissa dragged him out of the house and he made sure to see Cora each week too. It was honestly all the excitement he could stomach for now.<br/><br/>For now because that was going to change. He wasn't the type of man to be content with only doing drawings and not much else. Fixing up the loft and work on the rest of the building was going to be a good distraction. He’d have more of a sense of purpose.</p>
<p>"I've asked the few angels I know about my condition, but they weren't much help." Or more like there hadn't been much they could do and he wasn't going to ask them for more. They had done a lot already.</p>
<p>"Uh-huh," Stiles hummed as a sign that he approved of that possibility of a more serious talk. After all, he had to know much more to be able to figure out what he's looking for exactly. From his pre-search from last night it became evident to him that the 'soul' topic was a very huge search field even in the scientific and occult community. And that was just scratching the surface. There was also the deep web he barely ventured into yet. Studies, religious, esoteric and occult texts, documentaries, medical reports and so on. The most frustrating about this was that he had to dig deep enough to be able to determine what might be legit and what only fantasy – in their case useless.<br/><br/>Because it mattered what kind of approach they would choose to tackle this 'half a soul short' thing and it was waaaay above Stiles' usual line of work – even in supernatural standards. Maybe Derek has some more of those old wolf lore books that survived the fire. Maybe there's something useful in them...<br/><br/>Just when he was about to ask said wolf about it, Derek dropped a bomb on him in his most nonchalant and smooth way. That bastard.</p>
<p>"Wait what...? Angels? Are you f....ing with me?" he bit off the swear word in the last moment because of Beth as he slammed a hand on the dashboard in front of him to be able to turn his upper body faster towards Derek. His brown eyes were wide and his heart rate picked up a bit too from that information. Not exactly shock, more like the joy of delving deeper into the unknown and the supernatural again. "I mean... I guess... it makes sense.... If your relations ‘downstairs’ exists... if ‘downstairs’ exists then there should be an ‘upstairs’ too, right? With angels and all... Wait... is there a God? Are the angels at least the kind of asses like Dominion painted them? How many do you know? And most importantly how??" he fired off his questions in his fast usual way.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, he had known what it would do to Stiles, had known the effect it would have and as the human flailed, literally, Derek grinned, widely. It was a proud wolf preen, he was very pleased with himself over this one. It had been all about timing and this was perfectly delivered. Clearly. Because Stiles went into quick rambling to ask, wanting to know everything as soon as possible, much to his amusement. Meanwhile Derek was the perfect picture of calmness as he glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.<br/><br/>"Oh don't be so full of yourself, Sourwolf. I know what you did there. Baiting me so shamelessly, tsk, tsk," Stiles lightly shook his head and sat back into the passenger seat, exhaling slowly, though there was a small smile playing in the corner of his lips as his mind was processing all the new information and also firing up even more with excitement.</p>
<p>The wolf preen only intensified at the fake scolding coming from the younger man, because it had worked, hadn't it? So he had a reason to be full of himself and he wasn't above showing it. Considering the fact it had made that little tiny smile appear on Stiles' face made it even more worth it.<br/><br/>It wasn't exactly ‘upstairs’ and ‘downstairs,’ it was a different realm of existence. Portals leading to the places, magic required to get there, or the right access like the grace of an angel, or the darkness of a demon. It wasn't as cut and dry as in the Bible, but it was close enough.</p>
<p>"God retired, he doesn't like Earth all that much anymore so he's not of any help to anybody." Not that Derek had met God, nor did he want to, he didn't sound all that pleasant to be honest. Angels were... kind of asses though, that much was true. Not all on purpose, but many thought humans were just monkeys and werewolves nothing more than pets of demons. And then there were those like Michael who were... Archangels did seem like the worst of the bunch.<br/><br/>"I know four of them, one could star in Dominion. The others are... different. Zophiel saved my daughter's life and Castiel is living with two hunters. They're still getting used to me. He and the hunters." As in Derek had at least made a dent in their biased opinion of werewolves and shown them there were different kinds of werewolves. "They don't have a he..." he glanced at Beth and changed the word so she wouldn't hear heaven "home to return to, it's closed." And then he realized he knew of a fifth, but he had never met him so not worth mentioning.<br/><br/>"Honestly, I'm not surprised about God not caring about this world anymore. Looking back in history, he must've abandoned us a long time ago," Stiles shrugged it off lightly enough, because he somehow felt that he was probably right. Or at least it all made sense now to him. Besides the true existence of gods was something even Stiles' mind would struggle with too much right now. So maybe later he would give this a deeper thought. Or two.<br/><br/>"Full of surprises, Mr. Hale..." he chuckled low, kinda echoing his previous thought about the man next to him. "I already knew you were special and famous in certain circles, but this... knowing angels and all that..." he ran a hand through his messy hair and hummed to himself a few more times. "So wait... does this mean that the angels are stuck on Earth? Living among us? Oh boy, another species to add to the list of the creatures we should look out for. Especially in Beacon Hills," Stiles now drummed his fingers on his thigh a few times, his other hand playing with the hoodie's string.</p>
<p>"The angels did what they could for a long time." But there was only so much they could do and the ones in charge of the 'monkeys' hadn't been that open to the monkeys' way of living so it had certainly complicated things. "But they are now here on Earth, most I think. They don't like sharing information." Most of what he knew was from either his ex or Zophiel. Castiel was near impossible to get information out of. Unless it related personally to him.</p>
<p>"They're not a danger, they're still doing the task they were assigned to do or attempt to adapt to living here like all of us. You wouldn't even recognize them as angels." They certainly weren't ones to mess with, because they had a strength to them above most supernatural creatures.<br/><br/>"Huh... Interesting," Stiles murmured from what Derek was telling him about how angels worked. Still, it didn't help on the unease he felt deep down from knowing that those creatures were roaming the Earth too. It was better to know that, though. In case one day he might bump into one, he would be at least a tiny bit more prepared than without knowing about their existence with certainty. Not that he would be able to do anything to protect himself. After all, he was just a mere weak mortal with little powers. Something that has always bothered him deep down and he tried to compensate that with his quick wit and intelligence. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it made the others vulnerable through him.<br/><br/>"Do angels possess humans too to have a body on Earth? I mean... if anything is true about what circulates about them, they are divine beings from a different dimension. Do they need a physical vessel for themselves to fit in better here? Or they have the power to appear human and hide their angelic presence on their own?" he mused as they were nearing the playground.</p>
<p>Stiles felt uneasy with the topic of angels and yet kept asking about them simply because he was too curious not to. Part of Derek thought not telling him more would maybe placate the unease, but on the other hand, knowing more would maybe also do the same. And he was asking after all.</p>
<p>"Angels need to take a human vessel. Their true form burns the human eyes out. But they can only take with the permission of the human. Some humans consider it a gift." The tone of Derek suggested he didn't agree with that assumption.<br/><br/>To be a conduit for an angel, have no autonomy over your own body and not even be aware of what's going on... it didn't seem to be a blessing at all. And it was dangerous too. "With cloning they can create their own vessel, sometimes." Something he didn't know all that much about, yet. He knew more but he wasn't going in detail. If it was for the bestiary, then Stiles could ask when he was actually writing it all down. Not now, in a car on their way to the playground.<br/><br/>Stiles was fascinated by what Derek was revealing about angels. He had a vivid imagination so he could clearly picture what the other man was saying. It all made sense too, making some noises to express that, but otherwise lost in his thoughts. Frankly, it all was a bit overwhelming even to Stiles. He didn't expect to bump into this topic at all. But he had to keep an open mind if he wanted to find a solution for Derek's 'half soul' problem. Apparently, angels were no real help in the matter. Or at least that's what Derek kinda said. But maybe it was with a reason that the angels didn't reveal a solution to him. Or maybe they didn't know any, like they said. Stiles didn't know enough to form an opinion about it, but for now, he crossed out the 'help from the angels' option. During his research he was going to come back to this for sure, though, because he had already saved down many legends and texts involving angels and souls.<br/><br/>"And what about demons? What's their deal beside possessing unsuspecting people and making them... off others?" he asked and this time his face hardened a bit from his memories.</p>
<p>"Some demons do the biding of the ones from the Hell dimensions. There are a few of those, more than one devil, more than one ruler. The more powerful they are, the higher up. They're getting stronger because they sense the balance shifting. Vampires and werewolves are in-between everything mostly. Lower than demons and angels. Then there are hybrids of angel and human, or like me, demon and werewolf. We're above everything and powerful, so dangerous. It's why I gave it away." Being so powerful that even angels were uncomfortable around him when he had no control, it hadn't been a good feeling.<br/><br/>The demon side had been warded off from him since birth, and he hadn't asked for it to be unlocked. He was a good person, he didn't want to be bad.</p>
<p>As Stiles fired up brain finally comprehended what Derek was dropping on him so casually AGAIN, his head snapped towards him with slightly wider eyes and his mouth hanging open.</p>
<p>"HUH?! You... part demon? What? How? Why?" he asked 'very collected'. How could he not notice before? He knew Derek was special, but he always thought it was because of him being an alpha wolf and because of his family history. But deep down, deep down he was confused at times from the tiny feeling that there was something more. And now he was provided that information which made things make sense a bit more.</p>
<p>At the human's again shocked look and squeaked out questions, Derek shrugged. "Since birth. My father is the son of a devil. Deaton and my mother warded that part of me. It got undone." Which was putting it mildly.<br/><br/>He clearly remembered how it felt to be dying after the hellhound's attack, to be burned to death. And how his grandfather had punched his fist in his chest to get the heart going again while undoing the wards. Nothing had been the same ever since. Nothing. And this was not talk meant for little ears, so he glanced to Beth who had fallen asleep in her car seat. Oh, of course, even his daughter made sure he couldn't avoid talking to Stiles. They were all in cahoots.</p>
<p>Stiles being silent could mean two things. One, he was thinking about something very hard. Two, he was too shocked to come up with a quirky response. Now the latter was on the table as he was just simply staring at Derek. Not with shock or disbelief or pity. But with a little bit of surprise and understanding. Because he understood that this demon thing was probably connected to Derek being in Hell and his paternal heritage. Maybe even with losing half of his soul.<br/><br/>One would think Derek would enjoy Stiles being quiet, with how much he talked and how little the Hale did. But to have the human sit next to him completely silent was more than a little disturbing, unnatural. Derek knew Stiles long enough to know what it meant, but that didn't mean it was normal for him. He assumed there were many ideas floating around in that busy head, attempting to make connections with all the information he was given and what he already knew. That was his strength, that remarkable gift of making connections when others weren't even connecting at all. It was why Derek had accepted the offer, no, demand, to help him with the soul problem.<br/><br/>The older man hasn't been too talkative about his experiences in that dimension, but Stiles only had to take one look at him when he first mentioned it to understand that Derek had been through A LOT down there and that it wasn't easy for him to talk about that period. Stiles would've let him off the hook if not half of his soul was at stake. He was starting to vaguely see the connections.<br/><br/>Stiles glimpsed back at Beth too, seeing that she was asleep so he lowered his voice as he kept staring at Derek, trying to piece things together. "Soo.... that demon side of you got undone. Is that how you ended up in Hell? Does it have to do anything with you giving up half your soul? This is important for me to know, Derek. To help you," he added with a softer look in his amber eyes, fighting off the urge to put his hand on Derek's on the gear shift.</p>
<p>Slowing the car down a little, Derek took a detour so Beth could keep sleeping, knowing she'd be awake as soon as the car came to a full stop. She wasn't much of a sleeper and he was determined to make sure she would get as much as she could. But this topic wasn't the easiest and to keep driving was not all that safe so he took a back road to avoid being a nuisance in traffic. His grip on the wheel tightened, because even though it’s been a while ago, it still felt like it all happened recently.<br/><br/>He had to park, focusing on breathing as he stared ahead.</p>
<p>"I was used as bait, by a hellhound. I was dying, my grandfather decided to save my life by undoing the wards so I could heal. After that, he sometimes visited while I was struggling with my new powers. He manipulated me, made me lose my pack. I was isolated. He held Beth captive and was going to go through the portal with her so I followed, for her. He wanted to groom me for something. I didn't know what, I was fighting it. Every time I resisted, I was punished, if I spoke out of line, I was punished. He made me have ruts every month instead of once or twice a year, made me kill. I was losing my mind slowly, so I offered my demon half to my uncle if he'd get me and Beth out of Hell. He wanted the power. I knew I had to get out before there was nothing of me left so I didn't care." The grip was so tight on the wheel that it was creaking ominously.<br/><br/>"I don't even know what I all agreed to, what I all did. I came back with half a soul and the spark of an alpha, because I killed my own kind. I've killed whatever was thrown my way. I'm not a good person anymore, Stiles."</p>
<p>To Stiles' merit he didn't freak out or pulled away from Derek. Yes, there was some surprise in his eyes, but his face stayed calm. After all, he had seen many things both in this town and during his work too. He swallowed hard, though not from fear, but from pain. It hurt seeing Derek like that. So messed up and in pain. Yes, the story that was revealed to Stiles was shocking and bloody serious, but all the human cared about was to somehow make Derek relax a bit. To make him feel better.<br/><br/>That's why this time he didn't stop himself and gently put a hand over Derek's right hand on the wheel. He could see how white his knuckles were, he could feel the tremors going through that hand. But Stiles wasn't scared. Not in the past, not now. It didn't matter what Derek was or what happened to him. He knew the truth.<br/><br/>Shaking his head in denial, Stiles kept his eyes on the other man's profile and his hand on his. "Bullshit. You were forced to do things. Just like I was by the Nogitsune. You did everything to survive. To save your daughter. You paid your price to be able to do so. If you really were a bad person, Derek, you would've stopped fighting your demon side and would've given in to get lost in it. Enjoying the killing, wanting more, obeying your grandfather, becoming what he wanted to use you for. You didn't do any of that in the end. You are here. Beth is here. I promise you.... with time you'll eventually be better," Stiles said on a steady, reassuring tone, his voice and look telling Derek that he firmly believed what he was saying. He also sounded like someone knowing exactly what he was talking about. And to some extent he did.</p>
<p>There was a glance to the hand on top of his, but Derek didn't pull away or glared at Stiles for daring to touch him, it was allowed at least. There was no fear coming from the younger man, not even after what Derek had told him. There was only understanding, no lies, no pity. That steady voice, that knowing wisdom made Derek think. And his thoughts went to when Stiles was taken over by the Nogitsune.<br/><br/>He had been at the station when the bomb went off, he had seen the many bodies despite being half out of it himself. He had also heard about the bodies at the hospital, he held Aiden when he died... So many deaths, so many injured, so much blood. Yes, Stiles knew exactly what it meant to have no control over his own body anymore, what it was like to have stained hands and a guilty heart. Derek wasn’t there to help him with the aftermath, he had been captured by Kate for a long time so he didn't know how Stiles had been. Probably not good.<br/><br/>They both had killed many, and they were going to have to live with that. Their innocence and good had been taken away from them, but he didn't see Stiles as bad, he had been broken and tainted. Just like Derek was now. With a thick swallow, he nodded, feeling guilty for struggling, for all of this when Stiles was younger and more put together despite all that he had suffered through.<br/><br/>"You were always the strongest out of all of us," he finally said, grip relaxing a slightly bit more. Agreeing to him being better eventually would be a lie, because he kept going for Beth. Time would heal all wounds they said but now, ten years after the fire, those wounds weren't healed. Justice had been served, sure, but that didn't give him the family back. And he wasn't going to get justice for going to Hell, Stiles wasn't going to get justice with Void. The demon was locked in a jar. They had to keep going. That was all they could do while their dreams would always remind them of the truth. They were killers.<br/><br/>"Are you better? You never talk about what happened. You moved on to your best ability, but we both know we'll never be who we used to be."</p>
<p>Feeling Derek's grip ease up a bit, Stiles slowly pulled his hand away – kinda reluctantly but also pleased that his touch wasn't rejected – and sat back in his seat again, blushing a bit from Derek's compliment as he stared ahead of him and chuckled lightly.</p>
<p>"I don't see it that way, but thanks, I guess," he said. No, he always felt like the weakest link because of his lack of fighting skills and powers. He tried to work very hard to earn his place in 'the pack'. Yes, he had saved the lives of many more than once – including Derek's – but he also took even more when he wasn't himself. When he thought he was going insane or end up like his beloved mom.<br/><br/><em>Yeah, well, you’re an idiot</em>, Derek thought to himself as he finally dared to glance at Stiles when he has been avoiding to do that since he had stopped the car. His look probably said as much, because the human had the knack to be able to read him far easier than anybody else could. Stiles had been one of the few humans in a pack full of supernaturals, and never had wanted the bite. He had clung to his humanity and had attempted to make it on his own by learning different ways to fight. With his mind and quick wit he had saved many of them. He had been the glue to keep it all together, the strong component in the old pack. And yet, the boy would never be able to see that. If it hadn't been for Stiles, Derek would have drowned or had been ripped apart by the kanima. He would have never gotten out of Mexico, would have ended up as fodder for Gerard… It went on and on like that.<br/><br/>Stiles glimpsed down at his all of a sudden slightly shaking hands and he quickly clenched and opened them a few times to stop that. With a shrug, a small sad smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. Yes, he didn't like to talk about this. Or think about it in general. Even if he knew it was helping him heal. But he always thought that no one would really understand. Not his dad, not Scott or Lydia. They helped, of course. Looked after him afterwards, but on some days it took a lot of effort for Stiles to even get out of his bed. Go to school, continue his life.<br/><br/>"You're right. Things like what we've went through changes everything. The way we look at things. How we think. Who we are. I try to persuade myself that it's something from which I could learn. Grow stronger. Wiser, perhaps," Stiles snorted with some doubt about that. "It was... very difficult at first. There was no one really who could understand this. I mean... they helped. My dad, the guys, even Deaton. But I was struggling for a long time with depression too. I felt like my body and mind were violated. Which was practically the case. It took a while for me to accept that and come to terms with it. I'm better now, though. Surviving that was another push towards choosing what I do today. I wanted to be more prepared, stronger. More... useful. Perhaps helping innocent people and catching bad guys is my way of atoning for the unspeakable things I was forced to do," he shrugged. "It's a tiny bit easier each day. I have a purpose. I have people who love me or need me or my help. That keeps me going, it makes me look forward," he added then looked at Derek with a tiny smile, nodding towards the backseat. "You have something to live for too, Derek. She's a strong driving force."</p>
<p>Yes, of course, Derek knew that Stiles had caused enough as well, because Derek would have been arrested for far less without the human in his life, wouldn't have been a target for Void, wouldn't have needed to shadow these kids to keep them out of trouble. But it leveled itself out, it's what pack did, what friends did. Quietly he watched the hands clench and unclench as he listened to the words, breathed in the emotions.<br/><br/>"You have always been useful. You found a better way to deal with your abilities, though, a legal way." Derek wouldn't go as far as call it a safer way but confidence would make Stiles better at handling bad situations.</p>
<p>"Going about things in the legal way at last probably made my old man open a champagne with relief," Stiles chuckled, remembering all the (often comical) situations he got into in an attempt to sneak around or talk himself out of a situation once he was busted by his dad. Strangely, those became fond memories to him of the two of them. Memories that had bound the Stilinskis more together. He also remembered the pride in his father's eyes when he had finished his school and training with honors. That was another memory he treasured.</p>
<p>As for atonement – that Derek understood all too well. The need to scrub clean soul-wise, to feel less stained by doing good. To help others and balance out the evil even though it didn't work like that. Take one life and Hell it is. Werewolves didn't even go to Hell, they went to Purgatory and hybrids like him? Went to where the other higher beings went, the Empty. He wouldn't even get an afterlife, he'd get nothing, forever sleeping without even knowing. It was a bleak knowledge, one he wasn't going to share, ever.<br/><br/>Glancing in the rearview mirror at the sleeping toddler, he nodded because it was true. "I only did it for her, I'm here for her." Even a survivalist could only keep going for so long if there hadn't been a reason to keep going. He'd never end his life, willingly. But he would stop living if there was nothing left to live for. Laura had kept him going, then finding Laura's killer had made him get up every morning. Then keeping her alpha spark alive had been his motivation, his pack, Cora, Scott's pack. He had always had a reason to not give into the exhaustion wearing him down, to keep standing after each blow, to stomach the pain and use it to keep his eyes open. "I'm here for you," he added softly, starting the car. Enough for this morning, they needed some distractions.</p>
<p>Bottom of Form<br/>Stiles nodded in agreement. Yes, Derek had a reason to live. His daughter. For a split second he wondered if he, himself would maybe have the chance to become another reason for him to not give up. Either as a friend or something more. But it was something he probably shouldn't put much hope into as Derek had his plate full enough already. With a small sigh in the end, Stiles just smiled at the other man.<br/><br/>"Thank you, Derek. I'm here for you too whenever you need me. I hope you know that," he said then looked ahead of himself again as the car started moving.</p>
<p>He knew, of course he knew. Stiles had been nothing but resilient to making sure Derek knew he had a friend in him. The years of silence between them hadn't changed that because sometimes that's just how life went. They all separated, created their own lives, got busy with school or jobs or in Derek's case, more supernatural problems. People rarely stayed together after high school so in that, the old pack wasn't that different. And Derek had always been the older guy, he hadn't been in the same phase of life as the others, he hadn't even finished college. Never had normal jobs, they didn't even know how much money he had.</p>
<p>In a couple of silent minutes they finally arrived to the playground. "Is it wise to wake her up?" he whispered, glancing back at the sleeping little girl questioningly.<br/><br/>Following Stiles' glance to the sleeping child, Derek chuckled because normally she'd be awake already. "She'll be awake in a moment, it never takes long. She doesn't sleep much, because of being half Banshee."<br/><br/>Unbuckling the seat belt, Derek slumped a little more to get comfortable, enjoying the quiet because it wasn't going to last for very long. It was early in the morning so there weren't other kids yet, and she loved playing with others.</p>
<p>"Sleeping in my bed keeps the dreams away so we do that when it gets really bad." He suspected it helped because he had been taking care of her alone for so long in Hell. She was used to his scent, his arms around her, it's how they had always slept.</p>
<p>Stiles smiled with empathy from that. It was probably not an easy task to raise a hybrid like her with awakening powers. Especially when some of hers were from the intuitive and sensitive kind. He just felt a bit sorry for Beth, because knowing what kind of dreams and visions Lydia could get, he knew it was probably not easy on such a small child like her. And despite that, she was a cheerful and curious little girl. Stiles loved that. He saw that raw wildness in her like in Derek. It was just another one of their similarities he secretly adored.<br/><br/>"You mean <em>my</em> bed?" he grinned turning his face to look at the relaxing man. Damn, he looked... hot and beautiful like that. The shape of his nose, the curve of his lips which were usually pressed into a thin line but were more sensual and very soft-looking... It made Stiles suddenly wish that he could kiss it for hours without a break... <em>Bad Stiles, very bad Stiles</em>, he scolded himself as he swallowed hard, trying to fight off his slight blush and make his heart calm down.<br/><br/>"Otherwise, I'm sorry she has bad dreams. But it's something the three of us have in common, I guess," he said, hinting at the fact that he, himself sometimes still got nightmares. "I sometimes still find myself counting my fingers," he chuckled a bit dryly. To see if he is dreaming or not. Six fingers or just five on his hand. He doubted he ever would stop doing that.</p>
<p>"I mean <em>my</em> bed. I claimed it, it's mine now." Honestly, as comfortable as it was, his own bed was a lot bigger and he missed the room it offered. Hopefully the couch was okay to sleep on, because he didn't like chasing Stiles out of his own room, even though they hadn't known he would be staying over. Getting the loft ready was going to be priority number one once Stiles left, so he'd have his own room and bed next time. And Beth had her own room and Cora would have a place to give birth. That was going to be one hell of an adjustment too. Going from one child to be around two more, but his sister knew nothing about kids so he stepped up.<br/><br/>"Oh well... I just hope you didn't mark it with your pee too. That would be quite disgusting, if you ask me," Stiles fired back without thinking, lightening the mood a bit more and finding some much needed distraction from fantasizing about how Derek's mouth and tongue could taste. Or how it would feel to have his scent all over him. Damn, he had to control himself better. He wasn't a hormone-fueled teenager anymore...</p>
<p>The grin Derek flashed at the pee question answered nothing, but probably would make Stiles worry about the validity of the joke. Derek enjoyed messing with Stiles like that. Plus the mattress was covered with a special tarp-like thing made to avoid fluids leaking into it. It's what he had on his own bed in the loft too. Not because of urine but because he had a tendency to have a lot of blood in bed from his injuries. First thing he had done was do the same for the Stilinski beds, especially with a toddler still in diapers running around with her sippie cup. It was easier this way.<br/><br/>"Oh my god, you totally marked my bed as yours... Fucking territorial alpha..." Stiles chuckled a bit out of breath but with no negative edge to his words. Truth be told, he kinda liked the idea. Well, not the pee part, but Derek marking lil' ol' Stiles' bed as <em>his</em> territory. It was disturbingly hot and he had to will his body to calm the fuck down because getting a boner from that thought while Derek was in arm's reach and his awakening daughter right behind them would be a very, veeeery bad and awkward situation.</p>
<p>Being in close quarters did make it easier to catch the subtle change of scent coming from the human, that familiar twang of arousal even though he had gotten older. It was too familiar to comment on, sometimes that just happened, especially with humans.</p>
<p>To distract himself from that, he steered his thoughts back to their previous topic. The fingers trick made Derek nod and smile, because it was one he used ever since Stiles had told him about it. "I use it all the time. You told me about it in a dream once. We were talking and you asked me why I looked so worried. I told you I didn't remember waking up and you explained the trick how to know. You had six fingers so..." It had told him it had been a dream, though, it was a strange one, because Stiles had never actually told him about it outside of the dream. It happened sometimes, those little moments, because it wasn't really Stiles, it was <em>his Stiles</em>, the one he had anchored with. "I don't always wake up when I count the fingers." But it helped knowing it wasn't real. Even when it was strange to know it was a dream but still be dreaming. Like a dream within a dream.</p>
<p>"I did?! Wow!" he gaped at Derek a bit, the surprise clear on his face as he blinked a few times. "Huh! Maybe I do have some hidden powers and planted that solution into your head through that dream," he hummed, rubbing his chin like an old scientist or wizard would do, though he was neither and had no beard to go with the picture either. "This is <em>Inception</em> stamped all over it!" he grinned, somehow feeling smug from knowing with certainty that Derek had dreamed with him at least once. It kinda warmed his insides a bit.<br/><br/>"If you had some hidden powers, I'm sure you would have influenced my dreams differently back then." Because they both knew how much of an ass Stiles had been back then. He would have made it an arousing dream just to mess with Derek.</p>
<p>Speaking of arousing… that lingering around the human was a fond smell in a way, as was Stiles' enthused response to finding out Derek had been dreaming about him. It was a bold statement, because at some point the other could link it all together and realize what it meant and maybe that was a good thing. He was going to let Stiles figure that one out.<br/><br/>Stiles smirked a bit evilly from the suggestion, because probably yeah, he’d have done that, but instead of commenting on it he rather continued talking. "I sometimes continue my dream too after realizing it's a dream. I've read some books and tried to practice lucid dreaming. To control my dream. It works sometimes. Gives me more control over the dream. Especially when it gets... too dark. That technique helps me wake myself up. To know with more certainty that I am awake. It's a bit like a mind-fuck, but yeah, it works more or less," he shrugged, babbling on again, because maybe his experiences might help Derek in some way, and because Derek has always been the best audience to his endless ramblings and theories and ideas.</p>
<p>Derek stayed silent for a long moment before deciding to voice his thought. "I'd like to learn too, how to get myself awake. I don't- Sometimes I still don't know if I'm awake or not." At least they weren't as violent as in the beginning, before he had moved in with Noah. Because he had woken up screaming every day then. Now it wasn't as frequent and Noah had learned what to do and what not to do. "Your dad is good at handling it." Which he had summarized was because of Stiles' night terrors. The sheriff knew how to avoid getting beaten up for his efforts, which was appreciated. The last thing Derek wanted to do was beat up the man who had offered him a home.</p>
<p>"I totz should influence your dreams now as revenge for my bed, though..." Stiles mused, grinning widely at the other man, mischief glinting in his amber eyes. Then his expression softened into a half-serious one, the smile becoming warm when Derek brought up his dad. "Yeah, my old man has experience with night terrors. He's probably an expert by now and a very good help. I don't give enough credit to pops for that," he sighed slightly shaking his head. "I can give you those books about lucid dreaming to help you learn to control those bad dreams. It could help," Stiles offered to Derek.</p>
<p>Behind them Beth was already on her way to wrangle herself free from her seat. She was limber and strong and Derek was going to have his work cut out for him with her. He was young when Cora had been born, he didn't remember all of her baby phase because they were, at that time, three years apart. Another well-kept secret, his age. But that he preferred, let them guess at it, let them think he was older because it suited him just fine. "I'd appreciate those books," he agreed and didn't say more about it because it was hitting a little too close to home for both of them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 2:Spark - part 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2: Spark – part 3</strong>
</p>
<p>Beth yawned and stretched as best as she could in her car seat, little eyes opening as she remembered where she was and what they were doing. "Park!" she called out hoping she had not missed it. Looking out the window, she saw the familiar swings and slides and got excited. Struggling in her car seat, she tried wiggling out of the straps. "I go slide! Sty slide!" she chattered happily as she managed to get one arm free.</p>
<p>Stiles turned around when he heard Beth getting up. "Oh yeah, we go sliding, little sea monster!" he grinned and finally unbuckled his seat belt too to get out of the car and help the little girl out of her seat, not even asking Derek if he could. He did it without thinking because it felt natural.<br/><br/>Putting her down on the ground and closing the car door, he took her little hand and started walking toward the playground with her. As he saw the slide, he connected the dots and looked back to give Derek the stink eye and muttered an "Oh you're gonna pay for this later" comment. Yes, the slide was small. But maybe he could make it work...</p>
<p>Noah had helped Derek through the night terrors, like he had done with Stiles, and he knew the older man wouldn't go telling anybody about it, not even Stiles. He was a good parental figure, even to those who weren't his own. Like Scott and Derek and pretty much the pack in the past. They had all been kids when they had met after all and most from single parent homes or orphans.</p>
<p>Speaking of single parents... Stiles was a natural. He didn't even ask or mention it, he just got Beth out of her seat and walked with her, leaving the wolf to only need to lock the car as he followed the two. He grinned as the human discovered that the playground was toddler heaven, all made for the minis in life. There was a bigger one not far from here, but she was too tiny for it.</p>
<p>"Go slide, Stiles." Yes, he was enjoying this moment a lot and it was worth any payback the younger man had in mind for it. Derek didn't fit on most of it, his height, like Stiles', a problem but also the muscles. Sure he had lost some weight but he had an athletic build and it wasn't made for toddler playground things.</p>
<p>Helping the little girl up on the steps of the small slide by her hand, Stiles flashed an amused look back at Derek and mouthed an 'asshole' to him, but then his attention was back on Beth, who let his hand go and slid down on the slide with a loud happy shriek. It made Stiles chuckle right up to the point when she stood up in the sand where the slide led and ran to his side, tugging on his jeans' leg.<br/><br/>"Now you slide, Sty!" she grinned up at him. And who could say no to such a happy little face? Certainly not Stiles.<br/><br/>"Alright, alright, princess! I'll try, even if this is too tiny for my size..." he put his hands up, barely able to hide a grin. Then he narrowed his eyes, sizing up his opponent, clearly trying to come up with a way he could make this work for the sake of the little girl's happiness. He knew he would look comical, but he would take that risk for Beth. (And probably already much more just to see her happy.)<br/><br/>Climbing up was no big task for him, but the slide was too narrow to make his tiny butt fit in it, so he decided to try and slide down while lying on his side. He more or less succeeded once he managed to get into position, but looked rather funny on the bottom with his limbs tangled. But Beth's sweet giggle was a worthy enough reward for making a fool of himself.</p>
<p>It was impossible not to laugh at Stiles on the slide, with the way he was stretched out on his side, his feet were already at the bottom before he even could slide. Yeah, Derek hadn't even bothered, he had used his hands to slide as the rest of his body didn't touch the metal. But humans, unless they were acrobats, weren't capable of that so it was a good solution. Worse of one when he did slide and ended up in a heap because there was no graceful way about it. A laugh escaped him at the image and he regretted destroying his phone because this would have made a nice video for Noah. He really should get a new phone.<br/><br/>"Alright, I consider this as a success, but please don't make me do it again," he rubbed his butt and side a bit as he sat up in the sand, facing the slide. "Why don't you slide for both of us and I will catch you at the bottom, hm?" he offered as a compromise, opening his arms for her.</p>
<p>"I go again," she said as she climbed back up and sat down. Putting her hands in the air she looked at Stiles. "You catch me, Sty!" she yelled out and inched forward till she slid down the slide.<br/><br/>As Beth clambered up, Derek wondered if he should warn the other for his position. This wasn't the regular toddler, she had some extra strength to her and she was limber so her slides weren't ever going as they should. It was possible Stiles was about to get a face full of feet.<br/><br/>Crossing his arms, Derek of course said nothing because he was an asshole like that, as it has been pointed out minutes ago. As predicted, the little girl raced down the metal, squirmed at the end and hit the human who went down like a pin meeting a bowling ball. It was like watching YouTube videos. Only funnier.</p>
<p>"Oh my gaaaawd!" Stiles groaned, catching Beth securely and going with the motion to fall back on the sand, arms wrapping around her a bit tighter as he pretended to squirm and moan under her. "The sea monster attacks again! Help! Somebody help meee!" he yelled, ignoring the slight pain the impact had on his human body. Because seriously, who could be focused on that when Derek's daughter was having such a good time on top of him, trying to tickle him. It was adorable, to say the least.<br/><br/>When he had decided to come for this visit, he imagined it going totally differently. He didn't expect any of this, but he had to admit that he was enjoying himself quite a lot despite the serious task at hand. Having such relaxed and light moments in his life has always been rare ever since Scott had been bitten and all the supernatural stuff got dragged into their lives. During those years Stiles had learned to appreciate moments like these and he knew he was going to treasure such times with Derek and his daughter too. To keep him going. To keep him sane in his line of work.<br/><br/>It was the fuel that's been missing from his life until now, he realized. That's why he's been searching for something, drowning himself in work and research. The long day and night shifts, the little sleeping, constantly burying his nose into his laptop or some books... He had told himself it was to be prepared for the unexpected. But maybe it was also an attempt to fill the void inside his life and heart which he's felt most of his life.</p>
<p>"Rawrrr!" she growled and tickled Stiles. He was fun to play with. "Daddy, help get Sty!" she called out wanting her dad to come play too. "We eat him all up!"</p>
<p>It was a game they played. Derek would be the wolf eating her up, he'd chase her and catch her. And then he'd blow raspberries on her stomach while making nom nom sounds. The thought of doing that to Stiles, the thought of eating Stiles in others ways... yeah, that wasn't the way he should be thinking. He was glad there was a squirming toddler on top of Stiles so the human couldn't see the heated look in his eyes, or the slight blush which had momentarily appeared at the images such innocent words created.<br/><br/>"I don't know cub, he's a big meal." And as soon as those words left his mouth, he was momentarily horrified at the way that sounded. Stiles was notorious for his perverted mind, there was no way he wouldn't interpret them in the way the wolf just did. Ignoring the awkwardness, he instead pounced on Elizabeth, taking her in his arms as he ran with her to the little playhouse as if he was kidnapping her. "I'm going to eat you instead!"<br/><br/>Yeah, he was far more comfortable to lift her little sweater and blow air on her round stomach, making loud eating noises.</p>
<p>She shrieked as Daddy snatched her up and took her to his secret lair to eat her up. "No eat!" she yelled laughing as he blew on her belly. "Sty! Help, he eated me up!" She couldn't stop giggling.</p>
<p>Frankly, Stiles was grateful for Derek that he "kidnapped" his daughter because he needed a moment or two to collect himself from the kinky images that all of a sudden flooded his mind from that remark. But he doubted he managed to stop a dirty glance at the other man as their eyes met for a long moment. And did he saw a faint blush on Derek’s face? Or was that perhaps the result of shamelessly laughing on Stiles' "miserable situation"?<br/><br/>Either way, Stiles focused on his breathing and calming his spiking heartbeat while staring up at the blue, slightly cloudy sky for a few long moments. It was so wrong of himself to think about such stuff, but he couldn't help himself. Couldn't stop his mind from imagining how Derek's lips would feel on his toned stomach. Kissing, licking and... biting at his skin... Fuck.... Why could this man still make him horny with one sentence? He had the feeling that it was getting worse, not better after being fully grown up. Not fair...<br/><br/>With a sigh he quickly got up to dust himself off then joined the duo, a big smile on his mole-ridden face while listening to the funny sounds and Beth's squeaks and giggling. They were truly adorable together like this. No doubt about that.<br/><br/>"Not fair! You could've eaten me too like this," he smirked mischievously at Derek. Yeah, he <em>still </em>couldn't help himself... but revenge was sweet. "But that ship has sailed, I'm afraid," he added with a dramatic sigh. To distract his mind and body from the hot images, he rather did a proposal. "How about we celebrate my survival with some sugary sweets at the store while shopping for dinner?" he wiggled his brows at Beth, hoping as hell that sugar worked on hybrids like her too. It would be the second step of his "revenge" having Derek to deal with Beth and himself on a sugar rush...</p>
<p>Derek’s face was pressed against a squirming round belly so the heated look was hidden as he thought about tackling Stiles and pushing his shirt up. From what he had glimpsed, there were more developed muscles happening there and he wouldn't mind getting his lips on those. And what was worse, Stiles <em>knew</em> exactly what he was teasing with. Yeah, he really wanted to tackle the younger man and make him regret everything.<br/><br/>Instead he blew one more raspberry before lifting his head and righting his daughter's clothes as he swung her on his hip with a practiced move. Pale green eyes narrowed at the human when he suggested candy to Beth, because there was no way she was going to allow them to shop without them now. She was going to be insufferable.<br/><br/>"We'll go shopping after the swings." The little hybrid loved them, she was going to demand it and it bought him time from dealing with two sugar monsters so he happily suggested it. They were the safe ones no adult could fit in, with a harness-like seat making it impossible for her to fall out of. With a look to Stiles, he walked over to the swings to settle Elizabeth in one of the seats, her chubby legs sticking out because she was small for her age. There hadn't been any health problems from her being born so prematurely she hadn't developed internal organs yet. Mostly due to her werewolf heritage, Derek's energy and angel healing. But she would always be small.<br/><br/>"Ready, cub?" he pushed her gently, knowing with her wiggling and squirming she'd speed it up herself.</p>
<p>Stiles chuckled to himself, pushing his hands into his hoodie's pockets, apparently unable to wipe that smile off his face as he followed them to the swings. As he leaned against the structure with his shoulder and kept watching them, his mind continued reeling as usual.<br/><br/>This was so normal. So idyllic. So peaceful and warm. He couldn't stop asking himself for how long will this probably last for Derek and Beth? Because as we know, the Hales were like magnets to trouble. Stiles would have hated to see if some danger destroyed this perfect picture. He also already knew that he would do everything in his might to help stop that. Realizing that with certainty made some tingling feeling spread in him (and no, not because of the flirty teasing!), warming his insides. Which will only make it harder for Stiles later.<br/><br/>"Show us how high you can go, little sea monster!" he smirked at the excited little girl, but couldn't help his amber eyes from moving to Derek's form time after time, drinking in his sight, the striking contrast in his behavior when he was with his daughter. It was kinda like watching a completely different Derek. But Stiles liked what he saw. He also appreciated the chance that he could see him like this... and wasn't going to tell anyone that Derek Hale indeed had a soft side.</p>
<p>The swings were pretty much them listening to the little girl's squeals and laughter as Derek pushed her. If it had been up to her, she'd be doing that for hours, which wasn't that unusual since he didn't go out that often besides for her. So he usually just stayed here until she was done playing in the playground. It was his way of handling his guilt for her being in Hell, for her having to deal with a useless daddy when he had been healing. Even though he knew she wouldn't remember much of any of this, it didn't lessen the guilt.<br/><br/>Sometimes as he was pushing her, he glanced to Stiles who was leaning against a pole, watching them with this soft look Derek couldn't fully decipher. It wasn't a look he had seen on the human's face before so it was a guessing game. Probably it was about the same thing as the rest had thought when they had to get used to seeing him with a child. He'd always just shrug because they were going to have to get used to him being a father and of course he wasn't going to treat her like he had done his betas. It was completely different. Slowing the swing, he pulled her from it.<br/><br/>"That's enough for today, let's get to the store." There was a large chance they were going to be there forever. Because a toddler didn't make it fast and well, he had once been in a store with Stiles years ago. He had wanted to smash his head against the wall back then, repeatedly. Stiles was a label reading guy, taking his time to sample and chat and make right purchases which weren't too expensive. As to where Derek would get what his list said, get stuff as quickly as possible and get out. It had mostly to do with how he would always be stared at, like he was some criminal about to murder them all. And yes, he did play with that by grabbing all kinds of items or brand names which would only support that. This one time he had bought only meat and a pack of knifes. That had been a fun experience.<br/><br/>Beth was put back in the seat and the drive to the store wasn't long. They could have walked to it, but he didn't feel like lugging groceries back so this was easier.</p>
<p>The swings had been fun and she even pouted once Daddy took her out of them, but then she remembered something about candy and she got excited again. "We get candy?" she asked and batted her eyelashes at them. She had seen her Mom do that before when she wanted something and right now she wanted candy.<br/><br/>She was strapped back into her car seat and they were going to the store. She liked shopping. There were so many people around and lots of smells. Some good smells and some bad smells. "Store!" she called out when she saw it and again struggled to get out of her straps holding her in.</p>
<p>"Oh. My. God. She is like a mini-Lydia right now!" Stiles whispered to Derek from that eyelash batting trick she just used on the adults. "Definitely no DNA test is needed from that side either," he giggled. "Gonna bring a cart!" he announced while he let Derek deal with her this time. True to his words, he quickly presented one and waved towards it. "Your chariot has arrived, princess." With that he opened the little seat for small kids on the cart and let Derek do all the hard work of pushing it once Beth was sitting in the seat.<br/><br/>He was too busy fishing out his shopping list anyway. "Oookay, so first stop is the sweets section for some candy!" he announced leading the way and quickly finding the isle as it was not a big shopping mall like in San Francisco. He even had to nod and greet a few acquaintances here and there. People whom he had nearly completely forgotten about during the eventful years. In any other case he actually would've stopped to chat a little bit with some of them, but they were on a mission now and didn't want Beth to get upset about the hold up. Besides, he had to hunt down quite a few things from his list to be able to later make the dinner he was planning.</p>
<p>She was put in the cart and strapped in but that was ok... for now. "Candy... candy... candy," she chanted as the cart was pushed to the very aisle she was calling out for. Her little eyes grew big when she saw all of the different types there. She reached for the shelves but couldn't quite make it, leaning over as far as she could. "I want candy," she pouted before struggling out of the seat. Quickly she climbed into the back of the cart and from there she could reach over further, grabbing handfuls of whatever she could reach.</p>
<p>"Oh! Twizzlers for me! Come to papa..." Stiles licked his lips as he grabbed a few bags from the shelf once he spotted his favorite. "Do you have a favorite candy, Beth?" he asked curious. He was going to spoil this kid rotten. His look that he sent to Derek told him the same and Stiles was sure Derek would decipher that quite obvious message.</p>
<p>"Her favorite is candy," Derek answered dryly for her as she went to town on candy bags. There was no rhyme or reason to what she was picking, colors or shapes didn't matter. Nope, as long as it was candy. Again he wondered why he even bothered strapping her in because she was a Houdini, she could squirm and climb out of anything. "Some of these aren't for you yet, Beth," he carefully pried the lollipops away from her grabby hands to hand her some marshmallows instead. "They are for bigger kids." Was he going to try and make her pick a few items? No way. He knew what tantrum would come from that because Stiles had said she could have all the candy. Usually he would make her agree to one thing before entering the store, mostly because she couldn't count and one was something she'd understand.<br/><br/>No, Stiles brought this upon himself and he slightly glared at the human who was too busy with candy too to even see it. He was half-bent over so Derek quickly reached over him to put the lollipops away, only to get bumped into when the other stood up without realizing the wolf had been right behind him. Which made for some very close pressing of the bodies. Followed by an awkward kind of dance as they both attempted to create space and only sidestepped together. It was a scenario straight out of a romcom. It would have maybe created a moment.<br/><br/>Maybe. Because due to Elizabeth's eager grabbing of the candy, the cart had moved forward with a jolt, ramming into Stiles who out of reflex grabbed onto Derek to avoid falling into the shelves of candy. His grabbing was... very south of the border.</p>
<p><em>Awkwaaaard</em>. That was Stiles' first thought once he realized what the hell just happened and his frozen brain began to work again. His body not following just yet so they were just standing there frozen to the spot, staring at each other. With Stiles' hand full of Derek's... The color of a tomato was nothing compared to the red shade the younger man's face turned into in seconds. It nicely spread to his ears and down his throat too, the situation making his heart skip beats and then try to make up for those with some faster ones.<br/><br/>Well... this wasn't the scenario which he had imagined about holding Derek like this. At all. His whole being got stirred up not only from the inappropriate placing of his hand or the fact that he seemed unable to remove said hand, but also from Derek's closeness, scent, body heat and look. He was suddenly surrounded and overwhelmed by that and for a change Stiles could only gape for words for a good few moments.<br/><br/>He couldn't really read the other man's expression. Stiles did realize meanwhile that this was probably some back teasing or subtle revenge on the slightly taller man's part, but it maybe kinda backfired?<br/><br/>Elizabeth didn't even see or care about the awkwardness of the two grownups. Her mind was on candy. Not wanting to wait, she put a package into her mouth and ripped it open with her teeth. Sweet sugary goodness filled her mouth as she plopped down in the cart, surrounded by bags of candy, happily eating the one she had opened.</p>
<p>The hand was not moving, it just lingered there with a firm hold and for a moment Derek wasn't sure what to do. He had control of many things concerning his body, but not everything and this could get even more awkward if he moved too much. Instead he watched Stiles turn a deep red shade while his heart sped up into that aroused rapid beating he often heard. The hand was still not moving.<br/><br/>There was no real fondling going on, but it lasted for too long to call it an accidental brush anymore. And yeah, his body was starting to appreciate it so of course, it had to get more awkward. It had to happen in a store with his daughter in the cart who was using the distraction to rip open a bag and started eating. He could smell the waft of sugar and the bee wax of something gummy bear-like so it was harmless candy.<br/><br/>"Oooops... Sorry about that, but this is what you might get when you sneak up on unsuspecting people. Think I've told you a few times before not to do that," Stiles finally said on a slightly out-of-breath and hoarser voice, fighting off the urge to lightly squeeze what he was holding before letting it go. He had his balance back so he had to let go, right? He eventually did with a slightly off-sounding giggle, the color on his face staying steadily as he was trying to pull himself together from this unexpected turn of events. But he still didn't step away or broke the eye-contact. From this close he could see the subtle tone differences in Derek's green eyes, feel his hot breath puffing against his face.</p>
<p>Derek didn't exactly blush as much as Stiles did, but there was some distinct coloring in the neck happening, his ears were a little redder too. Sure, he was glad the human didn't knock over all the candy and get the attention of the entire store, but did he really have to grab his dick to remain standing? And now Stiles wasn't the only one remaining standing, it wasn't helping. He opted to ignore it though, like it hadn't happened at all while he searched Stiles' face with his eyes, leaning even closer. The hand finally moved away, the body didn't.</p>
<p>Although Stiles' hand was empty now, hanging by his side, he could still kinda feel the memory of Derek's junk. <em>Sizable junk</em>. For a brief moment he wondered if it was an alpha thing or nature was just very kind to the other man. But that thought got quickly interrupted when the star of his wet dreams (after this there will be many more, he was sure!) leaned closer.<em> Ohmygodohmygod</em>, Stiles repeated that in his head a few times, because yeah, it looked a lot like Derek wanted to kiss him. There, in the middle of the candy isle with a happily munching toddler next to them.</p>
<p>"Since you just went to third base without buying me dinner, you can pay for the groceries." It was informed with a hoarse voice, a dry tone to it as Derek moved away after that announcement, plucking the candy bag out of Beth's hands to grab her and place her back in the cart seat. Only then did he give her the bag back, they'd still pay for it when checking out.</p>
<p>Of course Derek didn't kiss him, even if – in Stiles' opinion – it could've been a great setting for a first kiss. But nooo, he had to say some clever/funny remark instead. He should've known Derek would. In his nervousness, Stiles giggled like an idiot, feeling his cheeks still burning hot as he dropped his eyes and finally stepped to the side. Feeling a pang of disappointment in his chest. What was he thinking? Derek wouldn't do that. Especially not in public... Stupid Stiles...</p>
<p>Beth was about to protest when Daddy took the candy and put her back into the cart seat but he gave it back and she happily continued eating it. "You want?" she asked holding out a half chewed gummy candy at him. "I share. Share is good."</p>
<p>No, Derek really didn't want candy, let alone a half-eaten one which had been chewed on but… It was good for Beth to learn to share. And she offered so with a deep, deep inward sigh, he took the offered candy. "Thank you Beth, you're a good girl." The problem was, he had to eat it too so he popped it into his mouth, the chemical taste of pure sugar making him want to pull a face.<br/><br/>"I was going to pay for everything anyway, so you might come up with another punishment," Stiles finally gave an answer to Derek’s suggestion, half-watching what he was saying, so first he didn't even realize the double meaning behind his words. Then the younger man sighed, pressing his eyes closed for a moment once he had his back to Derek. Of course he could make this situation even more awkward for himself... That was just a plain old Stiles move. He will probably never learn.<br/><br/>There was a glance from Derek to Stiles. "Coming, Stiles?" Oh yeah, that was a double meaning on purpose.</p>
<p>"Yeah... coming," Stiles rolled his eyes on the suggestive wording, but his mood got a bit dampened. To roll with the situation, Stiles just walked down the rest of the isle after the duo in search of things on his list.<br/><br/>And he never apologized for where his hand had landed...</p>
<p>The oddness coming from Stiles was noted by Derek, and he wondered if that was his fault. Maybe the suggestive meaning had been too much and he had made the human uncomfortable? At least there hadn't been a stuttered apology for the awkward groping. It had been accidental after all. It happened. If it had been on purpose, which happened to Derek more often than he cared to admit, they might have had a talk about it. Instead he left it be, glancing back to Stiles who was busy studying his list.<br/><br/>If Stiles could've heard Derek's thoughts and wrong reasoning, he would've probably screamed in frustration. But luckily (for both of them), that wasn't the case, so he pushed his nose to the list and mumbled to himself, looking around to spot the first victim that would land in their cart.<br/><br/>Waiting at the end of the isle since Derek had no idea what they all needed, he scanned the costumers he could see. It was the usual distrust thrown his way, coupled with curious glances to his daughter and Stiles.</p>
<p>"Hey Stiles, since we kidnapped this girl, we should buy her some food." Of course he said it loudly, enjoying the scandalized looks from those words. He only said what they had been thinking.</p>
<p>He blinked up a bit surprised from Derek's comment then he quickly sized up the situation. The Sourwolf was trolling others again. He had witnessed – hell, even suffered! – some of those moments. Either way he enjoyed that in Derek too. He was a secret troll with a delightful streak of sarcasm which made Stiles feel comfortable around him. Most of the time at least.<br/><br/>"Shush, Derek! In the end someone might call my dad the Sheriff about it!" he played along, entirely not subtle with the volume of his voice. "Don't be such an amateur!" he rolled his eyes but couldn't stop a light chuckle and a big grin at the end. He went even as far as grabbing Derek's wrist to pull/guide him further from the outraged people, heading towards the vegetables and fruit section where he actually started packing things into the cart once he let that warm wrist go.<br/><br/>It seemed it was a 'grabbing Derek Hale' day...</p>
<p>Even though there was a pointed look to the hand grabbing his wrist to lead him, Derek secretly enjoyed it. It felt familiar – the fingertips pressing against his skin, the tingle of energy coming from Stiles. Outwardly he had considerably calmed, but his energy hadn't changed much. Most likely because the human had found an outlet for it, hopefully a healthy one.<br/><br/>Quietly watching as Stiles loaded up on vegetables and fruit, Derek thought about how there had been a time he had enjoyed groceries, get the right ingredients to cook for his ex, but he honestly hadn't enjoyed anything lately. Not even the relationship. It had been only a reminder of what they never had reached. With the bond and his soul gone, it had been emptiness, this sad nagging feeling of being a complete failure. And he knew it's why he ignored knowing about Stiles' sleepy admission to him. He didn't want to ruin more good. Not another mess of fucked up love which will take away the friendship they had, leaving nothing but bitterness and anger behind. Another disappointment, another ex to hate him. There were so few people left, it made him careful and probably standoffish.<br/><br/>Especially since Stiles was going to hear the rumors about Derek, about him losing his mind, being a cheater followed by him not putting out and that's why the ex was happy to be rid of him... Not that those last two even made sense together. People believed rumors, Stiles could believe them. Two weeks was a long enough time to hear it all. It was better this way.<br/><br/>Beth finished her bag of candy and her little bottom lip puffed out into a pout. "All gone," she said as she began to cry, loudly, only supporting their kidnapping jokes.</p>
<p>"You can have more tomorrow, cub. Not now, because it'll make you sick." Probably. He had no idea if werewolf kids could get sick from overeating on candy, they all had a large appetite. Leaning close to her, Derek kissed the top of her head. "You can help Stiles with grabbing groceries, okay?"</p>
<p>Stiles was good at compartmentalizing things in his head. That was what he was doing right now with the previous awkward situation and how it made him feel. He pushed that into its compartment and closed the lid for now. He'll have time later to delve into that scene. Pick it apart just to over-analyze it, get some nice fantasies going just to later pity himself a bit because those would probably never become reality... Because... let's face it, we were talking about Derek Hale... After whom he's been pining for years, but nothing really came out of it aside from a few glances and loaded teasing. Stiles knew he was stupid to let go of hope, but we all know hope's a fucking bitch. Hard to kill off.<br/><br/>So now he just tried to focus more on the shopping and helping Beth stop the crying.</p>
<p>"That's right, my little helper! Let's get to work," he smirked at the little girl and took her out of the seat to put her on his hip as he saw from Derek before. One arm around her, the other holding the list he continued the hunt with the cutest helper ever.<br/><br/>After each time he read aloud the next item on the list, he pointed the bag out for her and stepped to the shelf so Beth could grab it. Stiles then turned to the cart so she could drop it in there. Somewhere he had read that it was good to involve kids in such simple tasks because they not just learned from it, but the task kept their minds occupied and they felt useful from it. He had seen it many times how parents only got frustrated by their veiling kids while trying to shop. So this method all made sense to the young detective.<br/><br/>Quietly Derek had followed Stiles and Beth with the shopping cart as the two of them were busy with the list and grabbing what they needed. They had been so engrossed in it, they probably forgot he was even there, which meant he could watch them shamelessly.<br/><br/>It was taking a while to shop like this, but he wasn't prodded into talking and people were leaving them alone. Which, in his opinion, made this trip one of the best groceries run he had went on. At some point he had zoned out, their babbling a hum in the background while Derek kept an eye on their surroundings in a lazy kind of way. Some of the other conversations floated his way, his sharp hearing picking it all up, but not focused on it fully. He was so used to being talked about, he didn't even listen to it anymore.<br/><br/>Stiles soon put Beth back into the seat and thanked her only when they got to the line in front of the register. A few times he felt Derek's eyes on him, but he tried to ignore that. Compartmentalizing, right?</p>
<p>By then the other man was glad when they reached the register, packing the items in the brown bags to fill the cart again. By the time it was all loaded up in the car and Beth back in her seat, it was the end of the morning, which meant time for some lunch at home and after that, nap time. For Beth at least.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 2:Spark - part 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2: Spark – part 4</strong>
</p>
<p>As they reached the Stilinski house, Derek was the one to pack away the groceries and make lunch. Simple PB&amp;J sandwiches since those were never wrong. Of course the toddler didn't eat as much as she usually would after eating a bag of candy, but it also made her crash harder. Obviously Stiles hadn't counted on werewolf digestion, which was way faster than a human's.<br/><br/>The wolf had put Beth to bed, giving them a few hours, which he knew was going to be intense so there was some dread as he walked downstairs but at least he didn't run off. This was for a good cause, this was for him.</p>
<p>While Derek was busy putting Beth down to sleep, Stiles half-slid down on the couch with a full belly and a little exhausted sigh. As much as he loved spending time with the little monster and her dad, he barely got a couple of hours sleep during the night. A few quiet minutes just zoning out while he was staring into nothing was nice. He nearly started dozing off, but when he heard Derek's barely audible footsteps – he was sure that he moved like this on purpose for him to hear his approach, which was a nice change from simply popping up out of nowhere – Stiles pulled himself up into a sitting position and fired up his laptop.<br/><br/>By the time Derek walked into the living room, he was munching on a red strawberry-flavored Twisters. He looked up at the other man with the candy sticking out from the corner of his mouth. Taking it out, he gestured with it for Derek to sit down next to him.<br/><br/>"So..." Derek murmured not moving yet, which didn’t seem to bother the other man.<br/><br/>"So..." Stiles eyed him for a few moments, biting off some of the candy to chew on it. He needed a moment to decide where to start this too. Not that he couldn't have started blurting out his thoughts and questions unfiltered, but this was a serious and delicate topic. He knew that in the past he had hurt people (probably including Derek) with the lack of his mouth-filter but since then he had learned to control it – more or less.<br/><br/>"So... the grandkid of a devil, huh?" he blinked up at Derek with a small amused smile. "Explains a lot," he winked then hummed. "How... Eh, never mind. I'm curious though, what would've happened if your demon side wasn't sealed away and you grew up with it? And... did I understand correctly that you gave up that side to free Beth and yourself? Isn't it better this way? I mean... you seemed to be afraid of that side of you. If we manage to bring your missing half of a soul back, I'm not sure if it is going to be this demon side or something else entirely. I mean... there's no exact science for soul-related things and I'm definitely not a pro... But we can dig deeper and see what we can come up with. We also might need some... external help. Like a witch who practices such spells..." he mused, taking another bite.</p>
<p>Stiles was exhausted, his pale complexion said as much, as well as the fact he was drinking and eating as many sugared products as possible for energy. Tomorrow morning Derek would take some time to play with Beth upstairs when she was awake so the other would be able to sleep in a little at least. Carefully Derek sat down with a bottle of water, trying to ignore the way Stiles chewed on the candy.<br/><br/>His eyes lowered at the teasing, knowing it was meant to keep the topic light, but it hit a little too close to home. It did explain a lot even though he had told himself there had been something good about him. All these years of helping others, of giving up his own life and safety repeatedly for others to undo the damage he had done as a teen. Only to be related to a devil, closely related. Having demon blood. There was nothing good about him anymore, with or without a soul.</p>
<p>"It was locked away for my own protection. Hybrids like me aren't safe, they are hunted by more than hunters. I doubt I would have been alive for long if it hadn't been locked away." Considering how other werewolves had reacted to him, it would have also excluded him from the pack.<br/><br/>The questions asked were good ones, though, because he had thought about it himself, why would he want it back? "Everything I feel is muted now, barely there. There's a constant aching emptiness and it got worse now that my bond with my ex is… gone. Another part of me disappeared. I'm little more than a vessel." An easy target to use for demons. Clearly if this wasn't something he could fix, he'd be okay with it – for Beth he'd give the rest of his soul away too.<br/><br/>Who knows what was left of the half he had given away, stuck in Hell like that, part of a demon. It could be corrupted, it could be something he shouldn't want back. "At least in the past I cared. It may not have looked like it to you or others, but I cared. I felt deep anger, I felt sadness, joy. Now the most intense emotion I can feel is when I'm in pain."</p>
<p>Truth be told, Stiles didn't expect Derek to be so direct with his answer. And so open. He wasn't that used to seeing this man so vulnerable. Yes, he had allowed for Stiles to take a few glimpses of it in the past. Now... now he wondered if it was because he trusted Stiles more or because he was just... too desperate. Either way, the younger man stopped chewing on his candy and swallowed hard. It hurt him to see Derek like this, more than he expected.<br/><br/>With the remaining string of candy in one hand, the other hesitated for a moment but then he put it on Derek's shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "We knew you cared. I saw it even when it was hidden more behind your seemingly irrational actions," Stiles said then shrugged. "But it's bullshit. You are still more than just a vessel. You are a great father. You still care. You care for your daughter. You <em>love</em> your daughter. Only the blind cannot see that. You went through literal Hell and came out of it sane. That's an achievement not many can tell about themselves, I'm sure. Also, you care about my dad. I see the gratefulness in your eyes when you look at him," he continued, his cheeks slightly coloring from his next thought, which he didn't voice as it was more like wishful thinking. Maybe Derek cared a bit about him too. At least as a friend.<br/><br/>Then Stiles paused as that certain 'I just understood a possible connection' kind of expression got on his face as he thought about the 'missing ex bond'. Perhaps it was a lead he could follow up later. As for the 'locked up demon' part, Stiles didn't want to prod it more because clearly it wasn't something Derek liked to talk about and Stiles was no expert in werewolf-demon hybrids, at all. But he wondered if Derek had grown up with that part, would've it been just as much of an integral part of him like being a werewolf? Would've they been able to find that same balance? Stiles was kinda positive about that. After all, Derek was much stronger than he looked or what he accepted about himself. Besides, he was an evolved wolf too. Not many managed to go through that either...<br/><br/>The hand on his shoulder was a familiar comfort offered by Stiles. Over the years it had been the gesture he'd use on Derek when he was uncertain if touch was welcomed but he still felt the need to. Because he knew it was one accepted, one the werewolf allowed him to. It was actually close to how a pack would comfort, they'd grab the back of the neck to lightly squeeze. It helped ground and anchor, while scenting the other. Derek always grabbed near the neck if he touched pack, had touched. Not anymore.</p>
<p>An amused huff left him when Stiles claimed he came out of Hell sane, because that was far from the truth. Half the time he wasn't sure if what was happening was actually real, he expected to wake up at any moment to be back in Hell and find out it had been a warped reality again. He had trouble controlling his anger, often wanted to murder and kill, and he longed for the release pain would bring, a momentary lapse in the numbness. There were night terrors, triggers, an open brokenness even Stiles was picking up on. But he was used to having everything taken from him, used to having to start over on life, used to dealing with his own brokenness so it gave him a coping mechanism.</p>
<p>"So then... this is starting to narrow things down a bit regarding our research," he said, finally letting Derek's shoulder go (and yes, it seemed it was still 'touching Derek' day). He tossed the candy in his mouth and wiped his fingers in his jeans before reaching for his laptop. He put it on his lap and went into a folder on the desktop. It listed out over a hundred files he had saved down the previous night. He began scrolling through them, sometimes deleting them right away, other times just after he opened and skimmed through them while mumbling things like 'soul links,’ ‘witchcraft’ and ‘soul healing'.<br/><br/>"There are no other werewolf-demon hybrids, not ones from a devil bloodline." There was no need to be a mind-reader, Derek knew Stiles well enough to know the human was thinking about it. There was nothing to research, he had tried himself, there were no answers to gain there. But he still considered it better to be an abomination than to be half of what he used to be, half of what he could have been. So if there was a way to get his soul back, then he'd take it.<br/><br/>The weight of the hand was gone, it had taken a moment for him to realize why the spot on his shoulder felt cold suddenly. Instead Stiles was busy clicking away on the laptop and he went back to quietly watching him. The word witchcraft fell, making him frown. The idea of witches helping him seemed farfetched and uncomfortable.</p>
<p>"Huh... Didn't expect that," Stiles hummed absentmindedly to Derek's comment. "How could you be so sure? I mean... During all the thousands of years no other hybrid like you was born in all the dimensions?" he thought out loud more to himself as his fingers paused over the keyboard and he stared into the air over the laptop's screen, clearly thinking over the information to adjust his train of thought and to where to take the research.<br/><br/>Glimpsing at Derek, he noticed that frown, which made Stiles sigh, not even pausing from the fact that Derek had kinda answered his unsaid question. It happened a lot of times between them.<br/><br/>"Look, I know witchy business is usually a tricky one, but I do know a trustworthy one in San Francisco who owes me a big favor. I could ask her to look into it discreetly through her own channels," he smiled at Derek reassuringly and also questioningly. What he didn't tell to him yet was that Stiles also had some studying sessions with said witch to understand the basic principles of magic in case he bumped into it during his work or in Beacon Hills in the future. Yes, as always, he tried to be prepared for anything. If his teenage years had taught him anything then it was this.</p>
<p>"I don't have access to the information of other dimensions. There's nothing in the Bestiary, nothing in the books in the vault and the few hunters and angels I know were unfamiliar with it too." To attempt to contact other dimensions was dangerous, nor did they know who to contact about it. Derek wasn't so eager to advertise himself like that either. It would only create chatter about it, it would draw in new enemies, it would gain too much attention. The Hale hated being the center of attention, he was more the type of a person to be in the background, hidden away.<br/><br/>It was one of the reasons why he wasn't so keen on involving a witch, no matter how trustworthy she was. He didn't trust witches, had nothing but bad experiences with them, well, except for one, but they mostly just bantered together. The few times they saw one another. She seemed to be okay, not that it said much because he didn't know her. She was powerful, but he wasn't going to involve her, there were no favors owed there, she'd want to get something in return.</p>
<p>"You better trust that witch with your life, because I don't want people finding out what I am." The angels weren't going to talk, they had no assignment to bother with werewolf hybrids, he wasn't something they liked, but he wasn't a threat like a Nephilim would be. Hunters would disagree though, witches maybe too. He'd rather be the failed alpha of Beacon Hills, because nothing about that would make them want to come check it out. "I've been cursed by a witch before, I don't want a repeat of that. Or get <em>his</em> attention back on me." Not likely, he wasn't of interest anymore, thankfully.</p>
<p>Stiles listened to Derek and nodded along a few times. He expected the carefulness and unease regarding involving a witch. But frankly, Stiles didn't think that whatever he might find online could get them to the solution. This problem was too deeply rooted in real mythical creatures and magic and all those things you couldn't really Google on the internet. Not even in the deeper and darker sides of it. He would rather ask an expert in magic to help than rely on a dubious source of information from the deep or dark web or any books they might find.<br/><br/>"You know that I am good at sensing people's intentions. I don't trust easily either. But I do trust her. And she owes me her life. She's a white witch whom I saved from death a while back. She sometimes gives me advice in my cases too and I've learned this and that from her," he winked with a small smile. "So yeah, if I think she's trustworthy, then she very likely is. The question is: do you trust my judgment?" he raised a brow at Derek. "Besides, you don't even have to meet her. I can meet up with her in San Francisco once I go back and see if she can dig up something. If not, then we try to find something else and she won't know anything about who you are or where you are. If yes, then it depends on what she might find. I suspect that it could involve a powerful ritual as we are talking about mending your soul. In that case her presence will be probably required," he explained, scratching the back of his head as he talked about the options they might have with the witchy solution.<br/><br/>"But of course, it all will depend on what she might find and what you decide," he added, eyeing Derek. "Nothing is a must. I'm just talking about our options here. Because we'll have to follow up any leads that might help solve our problem."</p>
<p>Part of Derek thought that it couldn't get much worse than being in Hell, so a witch shouldn't bother him as much. Stiles was smart, the perfect researcher, but there was only so much he could do with the information he had. There was so little known about any of this, so he didn't think they'd be getting anywhere, not because he doubted Stiles' skills, but because there was so much at work with this and souls weren't an easy thing, it was complex and beyond any of their knowledge.<br/><br/>"I trust your judgment of people, not situations. Magic, Stiles, really?" As if the human wasn't enough of a target with the way he fraternized with supernaturals and ran with wolves, literally. To be fair, he had thought this would have happened sooner, with the affinity Stiles had with mountain ash. There was talent there, he had wielded the ash far too easily and there was a reason the Nogitsune picked him over Scott and Allison, even though all three had left the door open to darkness.</p>
<p>"Yeah, well... Thanks, I guess?" he chuckled leaning back against the couch, his fingers drumming a rhythm on his laptop. Derek had a point with how he reacted to situations, but he got better at it during the years. Or so he thought.</p>
<p>"And what did you expect?" he raised a brow again. "I needed some basic knowledge about magic. And maybe a bit of dabbling in it too to be able to protect my tiny human ass from spells and all. Plus, she said I have talent there, so why not?" he shrugged. "Nothing dark or dangerous, though. I had my fair share of dark and dangerous before. I wanted to learn a bit to protect others and myself."<br/><br/>It was true. He didn't want to keep the door open for darkness and entities that might exploit that. He needed some extra help to be able to deal with what had happened to him. This was a good way to get through those horrors and to start building back up his confidence – and also to regain control over his own body after the trauma. For Stiles it was a natural step in his evolving. He didn't think twice about it as he felt that it was the right thing to do. And with the help of this witch, he had learned more about how to trust his own intuitions and power.<br/><br/>"But don't worry, I'm not going to be the next Gandalf," he joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.</p>
<p>"Magic is always dangerous because others will smell it on you." Though it would be kind of hypocritical of Derek to object to wanting to defend oneself. As werewolf it was easy to forget others didn't have the same chances in fights as he did. He disagreed, it needed to be magic because the Argents didn't use it and Chris was one of the toughest to defeat, so had been Kate before she had turned into a werepanther hybrid. With the detective training, Stiles was already doing a lot to defend himself since guns were just as effective in a fight, even with supernaturals, if the right bullets were used.<br/><br/>He wasn't worried about Stiles becoming the next Gandalf. That would take years and years of practice. He was worried about the human painting more of a target on his back. And Derek wasn't there to protect him, keep him safe. He was all alone in the big city, not even a new pack in sight. Which gave him an idea. He could reach out to the pack there, ask to keep an eye on the younger man. Stiles wouldn't agree with it, would probably hate the idea. It was why he wasn't going to ask permission for it. As long as he didn't know, it wouldn't hurt.</p>
<p>"Well, being a werewolf is always dangerous too, because those who can smell magic can smell the wolf too. Plus, my options are more limited and I try to be diverse and widen my knowledge beside guns – which can totally fail or run out of bullets or get taken away – when it comes to protection," Stiles shrugged as he flipped his pen in the air a few times. He could see that Derek was really not fond of him learning about magic (or practicing it). Stiles could tell that it came from worry for his safety, not from his general dislike of magic (perhaps thanks to that curse that was put on him in the past). But he really felt like he needed this additional skill and not even Derek Hale could have persuaded him otherwise. Even if it might make him a target in the future. Stiles was confident that if it came to that, he would be able to defend himself and others if needed. "Besides, magic is my last resort. I'm better with my guns for now."<br/><br/>"Werewolves don't have a choice, usually. They are what they are." He thought humans were just as resilient in protecting themselves, they didn't need the extra power, but Stiles thought differently. And if there was one thing Derek knew about him, it was that changing his mind was near impossible. Stilinskis were as stubborn as they can be. He did have something over Derek, though. "I'm still an amateur with guns." Braeden had taught him to use one when he was temporarily human, but as soon as he had been back to werewolf, the guns were left behind. He still didn't like them, but for humans they were a good defense. He was worse with a crossbow. Not everything came easily to him because he was a werewolf.</p>
<p>"Okay, fine, you can ask your witch friend." It was said with the conviction of it being a dead end, the whole 'I don't care' attitude. Mostly because Stiles was going to anyways. With or without Derek's say. "Tell her she can have anything except Beth. I'm not picky about the rituals or if it involves pain." Though he would draw the line if there would be others involved. He was not going to play with the lives of others. This was his own fault, nobody had to pay for his mistakes.</p>
<p>Stiles gave Derek a brilliant smile once he got the green light from him about the witch question. It was easier this way than going behind Derek's back. Because he would if that meant he could help on him. "Alright. I'll ask for a meeting with her. But don't worry, I won't let Beth get into this. I won't even mention her," he said more seriously as he, himself felt like protecting Beth was a top priority here.<br/><br/>"So we're done with the search for a way to get my soul intact?" It seemed like they were stuck already and Derek didn't know what else he could tell which would help. "It's fine if we are."<br/><br/>Putting down the laptop and pen, Stiles huffed. "Oh come on, Derek... Do you know me like someone who'd give up on research just after one day, because digging up the good stuff proves to be more difficult? Nah, I'll continue, see what I can find. But don't fret, my dear Sourwolf, I stop grilling you now. You can relax," he chuckled, picking up his pen again and started to play with it to do something with his usually restless hands.<br/><br/>Crossing his arms, Derek frowned at nothing in particular, because if the grilling stopped, then he had no idea how to relax. He didn't really do that. For a moment he kept sitting there quietly before he gave up on pretending to 'relax', heaving a sigh. They never hung out like this, unless Stiles was doing research and Derek would read a book.</p>
<p>"I usually watch Netflix when Beth is sleeping." Yeah, big bad Sourwolf living it up big time. He was so far removed from everything, it started showing when there was nothing to fight, when his goal in life was to actually live and not survive. "I don't really know how to... relax."</p>
<p>Stiles tossed the pen back down on the table. It landed neatly on his notebook, which made him grin to himself before he looked back at the visibly tenser Derek. As if the concept of relaxing made him frustrated because he wasn't sure how to do that. "Netflix and chill is the definition of relaxing, dude!" Stiles smirked and snatched the remote control as he slid lower on the couch, putting his legs up on the edge of the coffee table, not caring that his tee rode up a bit on his waist from this pose.<br/><br/>"We could watch the <em>Good Place</em> to cheer you up. Or some classic like the <em>Matrix</em>... or oh, oh<em>... Sherlock Holmes</em>! Or the <em>John Wick</em> movies! Gawd, Netflix is the bestest, I swear. So much good stuff to choose from," he babbled punching the right buttons to navigate on the TV. "What are you in the mood for? You have a say in our first 'chill out with Netflix' afternoon," he blinked at Derek expectantly.</p>
<p>The reveal of skin had the wolf distracted, not necessarily relaxed, because of that little glimpse. It made him groan inwardly because he was an idiot, one sliver of skin and he stopped thinking, like some teenager. Oh right, he was supposed to pick something from Netflix, as if he knew what was all on there. He had binge watched on a few shows the past weeks, spread out on the couch because he hadn't had much energy for much else.<br/><br/>"<em>Justice League</em>," he murmured, because there had been a time he was all up to date with movies, computer games, comics... After the fire none of that had seemed to matter anymore and he had focused on reading, gaining as much information as possible. Only in the past years had he returned to his geek ways, catching up on every movie he had missed, buying comics again. Unfortunately his collection was in DC where he wasn't welcome anymore, so he was going to have to start new, which was fine. Just not much of a priority. Although he had liked the TV and game console in DC, so maybe he should buy those things. Maybe get back into art as his secret hobby. "I don't like English shows, not my humor."</p>
<p>"JL? Nice choice... Though I'm more of a Marvel geek nowadays," Stiles chuckled, already searching for what Derek wanted to watch – totally oblivious of that long, perhaps longing look his bare skin caused. "DC really butchered their movies lately. Except for <em>Wonder Woman</em>. That turned out great. Okay, <em>Aquaman</em> was rad too with that dreamy piece of a hunk that is Jason Momoa," he sighed with a slight flush on his high cheekbones. It's been a while since he had dropped such hints to Derek about his... liking of guys too.<br/><br/>"But to me it seems that DC is either trying too hard or not hard enough with their movies. Of course the comics are different, but most people will go watch the movies. And what they did to poor <em>Suicide Squad</em>?! It was an okay movie, but all the months-long hype around it only made viewer's expectation sky high. And poor Jared Leto! Man, I was so looking forward to seeing him as the Joker and they cut most of his scenes? What a terrible waste..." he babbled on while he was searching through the shows. Once he found what they were looking for, he started it.<br/><br/>"BTW, I can teach you how to become more confident with guns, if you want. I'm afraid you cannot do the same for me regarding the wolf thing unless you bite me," he joked, not feeling the need to add that he didn't want that, because Derek knew that. He knew his view on that, which hasn't changed after all these years either. Nuh-huh, he was 100% human (okay, spiced with a little bit of magic, maybe). He planned on staying like that. Thank you very much.</p>
<p>Stiles being bisexual wasn't a surprise, he hadn't been exactly subtle with it over the years. After his long crush on Lydia, there had been this awkward kind of flirting with Danny, not to mention his drooling over certain male celebrities the few times they had watched something together. Derek on the other hand never had dropped many hints about what he had liked and Stiles had only known about the females in his life. Truthfully, he didn't focus on gender all that much, not in the past. These days being with women was too complicated to enjoy, the discomfort not worth it. None of that is mentioned of course, he only glanced at the human as he babbled away.<br/><br/>His attention was on the warmth of the squirming body next to him, feeling the movements through the pillows they were seated on. There was a considerable gap of space between them, on purpose, so he'd keep his hands to himself.</p>
<p>"Leto's Joker was obviously based on Frank Miller's <em>The Dark Knight Returns</em> as well as the <em>Killing Joke</em>. People weren't prepared for it because most of them didn't read comics, so his scenes were cut. Herd behavior." Yeah, Derek wasn't a fan of herd behavior, it's why he refused to even delve into the world of memes like so many did. Maybe that made him old fashioned but he didn't care, wolves were part of a pack, not a herd.</p>
<p>"Yuck, herd behavior! I hate it how it keeps ruining good or promising things. I think Leto was a promising Joker and I was looking forward to seeing him getting the chance to show it off more to the audience. I think it was an intriguing portrayal, even if a brief one," Stiles said while wiggling a bit and kicking his sneakers off onto the carpet to be more comfortable. "But I'm looking forward seeing him in <em>Morbius</em>. He always looked like a vampire to me with his big blue eyes. Kinda scary and maniac, if you ask me," he smirked, nestling deeper into the couch with some content little sounds.</p>
<p>Okay, Derek obviously still had some catching up to do with Stiles' favorite actors, because this vampire movie was news to him, not that he particularly cared what Leto did. He nodded along though, used to the ranting, knowing when to give a sign of him listening even though it wasn't needed. The younger man always knew exactly when Derek had stopped listening, which had been, admittedly, more often than he'd like. Not because he wasn't interested in what he had to say, but because there were distractions happening. Like a mouth attacking a straw or food being shoved into said mouth <em>while</em> talking. Or the big movements of slender hands, the offering of neck, all kinds of things which had always drawn attention away from the words tumbling out like a maelstrom of information.</p>
<p>The intro of the movie started playing, Derek only glancing at Stiles briefly because it was a serious offer with the gun. "I still don't like guns. It feels wrong to have one in my hand." That and he was quicker with his claws than he was with a gun, maybe it would be efficient if he would start throwing the guns. "I used it to protect myself." Then again, it would be good for Stiles to be better at something, to see the complete train wreck Derek was with it and maybe feel less inclined to mess with magic. "But we can try."</p>
<p>Stiles only took off his eyes from the screen when Derek accepted his offer. First he blinked a bit in disbelief, thinking that he would flat out refuse it since Stiles knew guns were not Derek's thing. But now he managed to surprise him.</p>
<p>"Really? That's cool. I promise I'll teach you well. It'll be worth it, trust me," he wiggled his brows suggestively, not being able to stop himself. "You don't have to like guns to be able to use them properly and with confidence." Here he leaned somewhat closer to Derek. "Psst! Don't tell anyone, but I don't particularly like my guns either," he whispered as he revealed his ‘big secret’. As a detective and once a kid who grew up with a sheriff it was indeed kinda funny.<br/><br/>Derek also got a big smirk at the end of the revelation before Stiles turned his head back towards the screen. "We can go try shooting later this week," he added lightly, already thinking about how he would ask his dad to lend a few of his guns for the practicing, and also on where he could take Derek in the forest. Making him get out of the house and town and back into nature might also do good to the other man. Frankly, sometimes when Stiles glimpsed at him when Derek was intensely brooding over something, all he could see were tense lines, pressed together lips and... well, yeah, intense brooding. Except when he was with Beth, of course.<br/><br/>Maybe to help him relax, all Stiles had to do was take him out into the forest with him. The two of them. Alone. In the forest... In Stiles' too vivid imagination that could be a setting for a) a cheesy porn or b) a creepy horror movie. Or the combination of the two. Damn, someone should shoot him right now...</p>
<p>The distractions listed above were the reason why it took Derek a moment to realize they had moved on from movies to guns. "I don't like guns because I've been shot way too often. But I'll admit I'll take some pleasure in picking a gun up to surprise a hunter if it comes down to it." Because there was nothing worse for a hunter or a cop than to be shot with their own weapon. To Derek, it sounded like poetic justice. He could almost imagine the surprised look on any hunter's face when a werewolf used their gun on them, because nobody expects that to happen.<br/><br/>"Makes sense that you don't like guns because of that," Stiles chuckled softly. Yes, he had countless memories of Derek being wounded by bullets – normal or special ones alike. Some were especially horrible memories, but he tried not to delve into those. "Ahhh, the face those hunters might get would be priceless, indeed! A werewolf who knows how to use their guns against them. A spectacular sight," Stiles sighed with a wide smirk, imagining a slightly sweaty and maybe bloody Derek Rambo style shooting rounds. Well... that was a hot picture, indeed, but Derek already smelled his excitement, so fuck it! He allowed himself a few more moments to admire that mental picture.<br/><br/>There had been many times Stiles witnessed Derek getting shot but he had missed out on about eighty percent of the rest. Normal bullets were painful, but took only about ten minutes to heal, so he never had asked for help with those. Nor the ones he could handle himself if he had found a bullet with the same wolfsbane strand. Plus all the years Stiles had been away, he had missed out on some spectacular shootings too.</p>
<p>The wolf grunted as an answer to the rest, seeing right through Stiles. He was having that contemplating look on his face, the same one Noah got when he had figured out another way to get the Hale out of the house. It figured his son already connected the dots and realized Derek was being an antisocial hermit, again. A particular familiar spicy scent reached his nose, making him roll his eyes.</p>
<p>"God, Stiles. Don't say you don't like guns when the idea of going out to shoot gets you this excited." There had been some Freudian explanations to men and their guns, most of those were spot on, clearly.<br/><br/>"Hey, I don't get excited about the guns. I got excited from the prospect of dragging you out into the woods with me. You know, some fresh air, a good walk and then shooting cans in the middle of nowhere as practice. It sounds like a nice Saturday or Sunday afternoon, don't you think?" he said fast, putting a hand on his chest as if offended by Derek's comment. Which he wasn't.</p>
<p>Stiles' scent didn't change, he usually needed a while before the excitement was over. "You're easily excited," Derek deadpanned, because he knew it was a lie. Some of it. The part of them in the woods was true, and he figured Stiles was hoping for some adventures while they were out there. It was possible with the way Derek attracted danger and trouble. It was never boring because something always happened. He himself hated that, he hated how incompetent it made him feel, even though he not always asked for it. It was possible to get in trouble in the grocery store when all he had wanted to do was to get the things from his list and leave. It was a good idea though, for the weekend Lydia would have Beth, so they wouldn't have to worry about time and finding a babysitter.<br/><br/>Stiles bit down on a loud snort from that deadpan. Oh, he could've blurted out so many things in return, but in a way... it was true. Around Derek, yes. It was waaaay too easy for Stiles to get excited around this man and his brooding charm. For a change, he instead just hummed and rolled his eyes at the screen. He's been home for barely one day and it was already getting... hard to stay focused, to hold back all the teasing and suggestive comments, the fantasizing... the outright flirting... Or perhaps maybe he shouldn't hold the flirting back? After all... Derek now seemed to get a bit affected by those and he sometimes retorted with similar comments... In the past he usually just glared at him with a frown or didn't even pause in his brooding sessions.<br/><br/>But... something has changed. Not just the both of them. Something has changed between them too... Stiles couldn't put a finger on it, but it was there between them nonetheless.<br/><br/>Derek focused his attention back on the TV, spotting Superman. He hated that face, the actor. Not because he was a bad actor, he was actually a really good one but- "Erica was obsessed with Henry."</p>
<p>Stiles sensed the shift in Derek's mood even before he said his last sentence about Erica. It made Stiles' smile turn into a small sad-ish one while looking at the screen too. "Yes, I remember. She had raved to me about him in <em>The Tudors</em> show too. It was something we bonded over with," he said softly, remembering the fierce blond wolf who used to be part of Derek's by now non-existent pack. "I miss her and the others too, you know..."</p>
<p>They both watched the muscled heroes for a moment, the mood depressing in a way because suddenly they were aware of the fact the other couch was empty. There was no Scott lounging in the chair with Allison on his lap, and no Isaac on the floor munching on popcorn. They were the second pack he had lost and it hadn't gotten any easier.</p>
<p>"I know. You were friends with them. Erica often talked about you and Boyd tolerated you, which meant like." Boyd hadn't been so keen on making friends with the rest, sticking close to Derek and Erica. Boyd had been his second, his right hand after the loss of Erica. "Isaac is doing okay, he made a home for himself in Paris." They knew Jackson was in London, they had seen him with Ethan that last time they all were together. "He Skypes sometimes."<br/><br/>Movie momentarily forgotten, the younger man turned his head to look at Derek. He studied the familiar face for a long moment. Saw the mourning, the pain, the tension etched deeply into the sharp lines of Derek's otherwise handsome face. "I'm happy to hear that Isaac is well. He deserves it very much," Stiles said then paused for a moment. "And... how are you doing without a pack nowadays?" he asked. Stiles knew that Derek had messed up before as an alpha. He had made choices the younger Stilinski didn't agree with, but losing two packs would be very hard on anyone.</p>
<p>Stiles could only imagine how it must feel to the other man. Especially since he was no wolf, so other than theoretically, he couldn't know just how deep the pack bonds could really go. Derek had a mini pack, though. In Beth and maybe in some way the Sheriff and Stiles too, but that wasn't the same. Also, from the way he asked this, Derek would know that he was really interested in his answer. Perhaps going deeper into this topic if Derek was ready to do that. Stiles knew he would feel and see his compassion.</p>
<p>It would be easy to just shrug, avoid answering questions, give a grunt and leave it at that. Stiles would let him. He'd try again no doubt, another time, he was pushy but not that pushy unless it was information needed to solve an urgent problem. Truth was, it cost energy to keep people far away, to block them and it hadn't given Derek the wanted result, people got hurt nevertheless.</p>
<p>"I was part of a pack in DC, with my ex. I had been omega for too long and needed the pack bonds." He remembered the excitement of running with other werewolves on the full moon, the way they had celebrated New Years with stupid childish drinking games and Derek had never been so drunk before like that night, high on wolfsbane-infused alcohol. To feel his age for once instead. To have a group of friends to depend on.<br/><br/>But he also remembered the weeks he had been alone in the hospital room with his prematurely born daughter, keeping her alive with his energy with sometimes Lydia visiting. The bone crushing loneliness he had felt when nobody came to visit, to one day look into a mirror and see he was wasting away because nobody had cared for him. And how the others had pulled away from him when his scent had changed, when they knew he was also part demon. How the alpha had dismissed him over the phone after he returned from Hell, knowing Derek had been going through the worst and all he got from the alpha was basically <em>have a good life and good luck with all that</em>.</p>
<p>"But I do better on my own. As alpha I don't need another alpha to keep me from going feral." He figured the pain was visible to Stiles, that the human would pick up on a whole story being untold in those few words.<br/><br/>"I want to build my own pack, offer a home to the unwanted and abandoned. Omegas like Theo who have been let down by others too often, used and abused. Everybody deserves a home. It's why I picked Isaac, Erica and Boyd back then, not only because their youth made the bite easier to take. But because I had wanted to offer them more than the misery they knew," Derek shrugged with a rueful chuckle. "I did the best I could then, but it wasn't the right way. I want to fix up the loft building, make apartments and public spaces for the whole pack. I don't want to bite to make a pack, I want the unwanted."<br/><br/>He knew he wanted to undo what he had experienced, because losing a pack three times was damaging. To be let down by those he had surrounded himself with all the time, to let them use him to feel useful... He didn't want others to go through that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 2:Spark - part 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>2: Spark – part 5</strong>
</p>
<p>Derek was opening up and talking to him. He didn't shrug it off like he usually would have. Which was good. They were making progress. But it was clear as day to him how painful this was for the other man. What he revealed with his few sentences was surprising to Stiles, though.</p>
<p>"I didn't know about that DC pack," he said quietly, lost in thoughts for a moment. There were still so many things he didn't know about this man, even if he's considered Derek one of his few and closest friends after everything they've been through together. His massive crush on him was just a bonus.<br/><br/>"From your comment and your circumstances it's clear that things didn't work out with that pack either," he added and couldn't stop himself from putting his hand on the back of Derek's as it was resting on the couch between them. It was an instinctual move on his part, he didn't think about it. But didn't pull back either. He knew that wolves and a pack communicated emotions too through touch. His goal was to show sympathy and understanding. Maybe it would feel good even to someone who usually didn't like to be touched that much.<br/><br/>"I like the idea of building a pack from such individuals. It'll probably be a challenge as first you have to earn their broken trust. But I think once they realize that you mean it, they would become very grateful and loyal and protective of what you could build for them. Let me know if you need me to put in a few good words for you," he winked with a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. But he meant it. "I could also help restore the loft in my free time, if you need help. It would be so awesome for Beth too to grow up around a good pack. I want you to succeed with this," he said with his seriously glinting amber eyes.</p>
<p>Glancing to the hand on his, he didn't comment on it. But he also didn't remove his hand nor glared at the other to remove his. It was grudgingly accepted. It was nice, to be honest, to be touched by somebody other than his young toddler and the occasional hand on his shoulder from the sheriff. He and Lydia weren't as touchy with one another, even though there were no personal boundaries between them either. He'd easily let her sit on his lap or them sitting tightly together or lounging together, but he didn't go out of his way. Neither did she. Derek liked touching others, only he hid it with brief hand touches, shoulder brushes, small things nobody even thought about him doing. Stiles was never subtle, especially not with his touches.<br/><br/>"It was brief, with that pack. I disappointed them and my ex stayed with them. He's happy there." <em>He</em>, the gender indication was unavoidable this time, even though Derek knew it would leave Stiles gaping. It wasn't a secret or anything, but Derek didn't flaunt it either. Everybody had always assumed Stiles was the only bisexual in the pack, and Derek had never deemed it was needed to correct them on it. It didn't matter who liked what, it shouldn't matter.<br/><br/>"But it made me think of changing it, to build a pack differently. It's not getting easier out there for werewolves or other supernaturals. Besides, I can't break what's already broken, so I can't do worse with them and that's perfect for me."</p>
<p>It was a joke, it wasn't meant to be self-depreciating because it was true. The challenge would be to bite others and ruin their lives. At least this way he could only make them better and not worse. Derek knew he wasn't a great leader, but he wasn't completely awful either. As beta he made for a bad follower, always doing his own thing and driving alphas insane, never part of a pack but never fully alone either. Constantly getting in trouble, which he knew had made it hard on the last alpha he had belonged to.<br/><br/>For a moment he was quiet before he reached over, petting the hand covering his, giving Stiles a serious look. "Am I safe around you when you have a hammer in your hands?" he deadpanned.</p>
<p>The moment that "little" bomb was dropped on Stiles and his mind comprehended it was spectacular. A myriad of emotions rushed through his face as after all this time it hit home without any doubt that Derek indeed liked men too. Despite the very few hints dropped during the years (and which could be brushed off easily with logical explanations), now some things all of a sudden fell into place. But that didn't stop Stiles from gaping at Derek like a fish on dry land.<br/><br/>"Huh! Good for him!" he said on a slightly higher pitch, still trying to process the mild shock which made his cheeks start to burn a bit both from embarrassment and excitement. It definitely opened up more possibilities, but he had to stop his mind which started skipping ahead like crazy. Getting his hopes up in vain would only make him falling flat on his face even more painful. Stupid son of a bitch hope!<br/><br/>"How come you never talked about or introduced any of your guys?" he asked, unable to stop his curiosity. "I mean... Ehh, never mind. I get it. I didn't either," he chuckled a bit nervously. Why the hell was he so... like a blushing virgin all of a sudden? Especially when Derek put his other bigger hand on top of his too? <em>Fuck</em>...<br/><br/>"Yo, dude... I had learned a few basic survival and remodeling skills from my dad, okay? We had to maintain this house alone since I was a kid, so yeah... if you trust me with a gun in my hand, you can trust me with a hammer too," he shrugged, chuckling, the tip of his ears turning red from that touch. <em>God</em>... he was back in high school when he was giggling like a girl around the few boys he liked.</p>
<p>"I don't know if I trust you with either, you're going to have to show me."</p>
<p>If Stiles had been younger, his voice would have done that skip to a higher note in excitement, though it still got higher now. And he was blushing frantically, giggling, avoiding to fully look at Derek. If his loud dreaming hadn't alerted the wolf, this would have since it was anything but subtle. He shouldn't be encouraging it, he shouldn't initiate touches, shouldn't enjoy dropping hints to his interests just to see the reaction. This was like playing with fire and he knew from experience what fire would do, it would leave nothing but destruction in its wake. And they would lose the friendship they have.<br/><br/>Pulling his hands away – with regret because he had enjoyed feeling the heated skin against his own – Derek glanced at the TV as if it had drawn his attention. It hadn't. The movie had lost its appeal, but it was a perfect excuse at least.</p>
<p>"There was only one guy, so…" Shrugging, he knew he wouldn't mention it if there had been more. Since his track record with relationships wasn't stellar, introducing any of his people wouldn't have gone well. The only normal relationship he'd had, had been with Braeden and that hadn't been as much a relationship as it was a partnership with benefits. The rest had been either psychopaths or unhealthy in the way of how they had treated one another. "You know the rest of my exes."<br/><br/>People always assumed because of his looks that he had a very experienced past sex-wise, but he hadn't been that interested in it anymore and he wasn't exactly a catch for a relationship. Stiles should know better by now, since he was older but then again, older didn't necessarily mean wiser.</p>
<p><em>One is more than none, right? It's enough for that confirmation</em>, Stiles thought and already felt a bit colder from the loss of the heat Derek's hands generated under and on top of his. He always kinda admired and loved how much warmer his skin felt to the touch. Unless he was injured, of course. Stiles had noticed that then it could feel a bit colder. Wereanimals running warmer than humans made sense with their quick metabolism and healing factor. No wonder running around naked in the woods even in winter didn't seem to faze them much.<br/><br/>Oh great, now he had a naked Derek running in the snow in his head. Not helping to calm down... Man, it was more difficult for him to control himself than usual. He blamed Derek. Of course it was Derek's fault! Stiles was going to keep embarrassing himself and he was going to also burn himself badly. Sooner or later. He could feel it in his bones as they were just sitting there staring at each other for a long moment while Derek was waiting for his witty response. Which seemed to have been stuck in his throat.<br/><br/>He got it. Derek was unlucky in love. So was he. He had fun with his partners and hookups, but nothing lasted longer than a few months. Not even Malia back in the day. Stiles knew that he was a difficult person to be with, with all the babbling and over-analyzing things and all the running around to save the day. His attention span was so messed up. Just like his focus. Okay, by now he had managed to more or less work on that, but no one could keep him interested long enough for him to start developing that real LOVE (with capital letters).</p>
<p>On Lydia he had an intense crush since 3rd grade, they kissed a few times but by the time they kinda got together, he had left town. Before that with Malia… Well, that was more about that feeling of someone finally wanting him and sexing him up. She was intense and fierce. Sometimes maybe too much. But Stiles loved the time he had spent with her. For a while he thought that it could work on the long run too and he started developing feelings for her, but the world around them was just too messed up. Too much happened in a too short period of time.<br/><br/>The male lovers... well, those were more like hookups and the booty calls in San Francisco. He was even more lost when it came to the men he liked. Maybe because he's been pining over Derek for years. And now they were sitting there – Stiles with the certainty that gender didn't matter to the other man either – and lots of question marks in his head.<br/><br/>Did he have a chance? At all? Or he's been wasting all these years hoping for a miracle? Well, this subtle but important revelation could have been a smaller one, but Stiles was just not sure. And there were very few things he hated the most. Being unsure about something was on top of his list.<br/><br/>He swallowed hard, trying to wet the Sahara his mouth has become from that intense look. "Does this mean just the shooting or is this your way of accepting my help in renovating the loft?" he raised a questioning brow, not looking away this time, even if the tip of his ears kept burning.</p>
<p>"Both," Derek breathed, like an idiot agreeing to anything the other would suggest because that was kind of the thing Stiles did to him. Of course, he was capable of saying no, even to the human but there was a definite soft spot, something about him making the wolf act more like an idiot than usual. The idea of spending more time with him beyond the two weeks now, it was too tempting to pass up on, even if it was only them working on renovating. He liked the idea of Stiles in his loft, having a hand in everything, being surrounded by his scent in his own living space. "Though not sure if there's much help given with renovating. We’ll have to see about that."<br/><br/>He did pick up on how Stiles completely avoided letting anything slip about his relationships. It was only his second day here but his phone wasn't chiming with messages, nor with calls. So he had to be single, he wasn't the kind of guy not to be completely into somebody, not to message them at least once a day. Derek wasn't into texting all that much himself, he saw it as a way to leave a quick message, phones a needed evil because it seemed you couldn't do without one. He lost his all the time, or they broke and he'd forget to buy a new one, which meant he kept changing numbers which he forgot to hand out. Despite his age, he was a notorious anti-tech person. Sure, he owned a laptop for banking and other businesses, and another one with software for his car, but that was about it. He knew how to work with technology, but he preferred not to if he didn't have to.<br/><br/>But yeah, he somehow knew Stiles was single and he shouldn't be encouraging this. With the way he flailed at finding out Derek wasn't straight, the constant scent of arousal lingering around him. The Hale wasn't going to cheapen the crush by thinking it was only because Stiles wanted in his pants, but he was certainly making it into an ideal picture in his head when he should know better. The wolf wasn't good relationship material, it would only lead to unhappiness or worse, death. Other times, he would have completely cut it off, made sure there was no doubt. But he was healing, too raw and aching to push and push until Stiles would give up. Part of him <em>wanted</em> the comfort of his scent, wanted them to be a sure thing, just wanted.</p>
<p>The way Derek said "both" paired with that look made Stiles swallow hard again, even if right afterwards the edge of his mouth curled upwards with satisfaction from the acceptance. "Good... That's good..." he whispered back. It was definitely a moment between them right there. <em>Right?</em> He wasn't sure. He could never be sure with Derek Hale, who one minute was open to him, and in the next it was like running head first into a brick wall. Now he was still open – more or less – but for how long?<br/><br/>Yes, he knew that Derek was more broken than any of the people he knew, but he was also a valuable person. Someone Stiles would never give up on. He was one of his closest friends from the very limited ones he had. And he... he wanted more than friendship for years, but had to bury those feelings deep not to ruin said friendship in case Derek didn't feel the same way. But looks like the one he gave him right now confused and filled Stiles with hope that maybe he wasn't hoping in vain. Then again... it was Derek we were talking about... He could be misreading the signs completely.<br/><br/>Stiles didn't know that he was one of the few people who could read and understand Derek more than most. He usually felt unsure, even if he touched on things without thinking. He just... wanted to be there for Derek. To help him. Not just because he deserved it but because Stiles considered him family. And more.<br/><br/>The younger man's fingers burned to touch Derek again, but he didn't. Instead he curled his hands into fists to stop himself. It wasn't because Derek was still healing and vulnerable, for letting him take a deeper glimpse behind the brooding exterior. He felt that barely there pull towards Derek stronger than ever before during the years. If he closed it out, he could completely ignore it, but his senses became sharper during the years and his training with that witch. If he focused, he could feel it tingling deep down. The more recent physical touches only made that feeling stronger. Stiles was baffled because he didn't understand half of these things yet, but he was learning as fast as he could. And maybe it had nothing to do with anything mysterious. Maybe he just liked to be around Derek. Touching him, watching him, talking to him.<br/><br/>"Oh there's always something to tinker with in a loft too. We'll see indeed," Stiles’ smile made a quick return and he finally broke the eye-contact to glimpse at the screen. He had no idea what was happening on it as his mind was too preoccupied with Derek and his scent and closeness. He should really get a better grip on himself. He was acting ridiculous. Not that it would be so unusual to anyone around him.</p>
<p>There was this weird moment between them, loaded with tension and Derek too was fighting the need to touch Stiles, fingers itching to draw the human close by clasping a hand behind the neck. To feel the smooth pale skin, to kiss those tempting lips and smother the quietness by shutting Stiles up even more. Instead he did nothing while they stared and stared without sharing words. The spell broke when he looked away, on purpose, once again using the movie as an excuse even though he too had no idea what was going on there anymore.<br/><br/>"I'm going to fix up the entire building so I'd say so."</p>
<p>First the loft though, so he could move back there and let Noah have his house back. And to not steal Stiles' room so he could visit and sleep in an actual bed instead of on the couch. He liked the roughness of the loft, the industrial feel of it, but it needed some refining touches, like an actual kitchen and he wanted to make a bedroom in the unoccupied area on the other side of the hole in the wall. That way his bed wouldn't be in the living area, there would be space for a sized sitting area and dining table. Playing corner for the kids and a large bookcase. It wasn't going to be heavily furnished, it wasn't what he liked but it would look more like it was being lived in. Suitable for a child to grow up in.</p>
<p>"I've got all the plans drawn up." Many sketches and blue prints, maybe he had went a little overboard with wanting a communal garden for all the apartments, a place where they could grow their own vegetables and herbs. Technically he only had one apartment filled when it was ready, with Cora. If she stayed. But if he wanted to build a pack, they needed a place to house said pack. "If I sell a few buildings, I will have enough to hire help and buy all that's needed."</p>
<p>Still looking towards the screen, Stiles drew in an inaudible deep breath, stopping his thoughts from taking a darker turn. He tended to do that at times when he was vulnerable and trying to hold on to hope too tightly. He knew better than to leave that door open to the darkness. Not that he could be possessed anymore. He made sure that it wouldn't happen again. He absently rubbed the shirt over his heart as if scratching an itch before glimpsing back at Derek.<br/><br/>"Those are great plans. I mean if you want your family and the new pack to live there, it's a wise choice. But I will be personally offended if you leave everything to the humans for hire and don't let me help with my two skilled hands!" he chuckled, lifting said hands to wiggle his long fingers in the air for emphasis. Then he folded them over his stomach.<br/><br/>"I just wish we were already there. Working on the loft. We have to put you back together before that, you know..." he said on a more serious tone. "I'll call my witch friend after dinner to put things in motion," Stiles promised, letting his head fall back against the back of the couch, unwittingly baring the long column of his throat, the few scattered moles in stark contrast with his pale skin. He closed his eyes for a moment and hummed to himself, already thinking about what and how much to tell her.</p>
<p>"It's a big project, you'll have time to get your hands black and blue by slamming the hammer on your fingers," Derek promised because he didn't want humans around his home all the time either. He was too fond of his privacy to share it all the time with workers banging away and making sensitive werewolf ears bleed. And he was going to need Stiles' input when it came to furniture and how to make it more fitting for living. He'd ask Lydia but her style was a little too posh for Derek's liking. He had no idea what Stiles' style was like, the bedroom was teenager angst-filled and didn't say much.<br/><br/>He only nodded at the fact that they needed to try to put him together, emphasis on <em>try</em>. It wasn't like souls were on sale and they'd be able to get one at the drop of a hat so they could move on. It didn't work that way sadly. That thought made him realize that with most of his soul gone, he might want to consider getting something done to prevent possession. A near empty alpha body might be tempting for demons which didn't have the luxury to be picky about what vessel to possess.<br/><br/>Stealing a glance of Stiles made Derek’s breathing hitch at the sight of what the human offered. Long neck completely exposed, offered so freely and openly. If Stiles was werewolf, Derek wouldn't mistake it for anything but submission, but now it was an unknowing tease of what could be his if he made a move. His mouth was suddenly dry, his mind empty like words were too much effort because he was taken over by <strong>want</strong>. To enclose his jaws around that throat, suck bruises in the pale skin and leave marks to signal ownership. Stiles gave and Derek wanted to take.<br/><br/>With a strangled growl he stood, literally tearing himself away from the sight before he did something he was going to regret. He mumbled something about drinks so he could create some space by being in the kitchen, breathing hard.</p>
<p>The second Derek growled, Stiles’ eyes popped open and he lifted his head to see what was up, but by then Derek was already moving behind the couch to leave the room. Did he say or do something that upset him? The confusion was evident on his face, but his response was already tumbling out of his mouth.<br/><br/>"Thanks for trusting my skills with a hammer! For that I'd like a coke to drink, thank youuu!" he yelled after Derek on a light tone, even if his brows knitted together, trying to figure out what made him practically storm out of the living room. With a slightly bitter sigh he looked at the screen, trying to get back to the movie, but it was in vain.<br/><br/>When a few minutes have passed and Derek still wasn't back, Stiles got up and wandered out into the kitchen to check on him. He paused at the door, sliding his hands in his jeans' pockets. Derek was standing with his back to him by the counter, leaning on it and probably staring holes into the poor innocent piece of furniture. Stiles could tell from the tense line of his shoulders and broad back that he was... frustrated? angry? or something along those lines as he was taking deep breaths.<br/><br/>He felt the sudden urge to go over and embrace Derek from behind, even kiss the Triskelion tattoo through his shirt until he relaxed again. He had no clue what made him like this, but he wanted it gone. He wanted Derek to be open and to smile again. But what he wanted he rarely got, so yeah...<br/><br/>Either way, in the next moment he found himself cutting the distance that got between them so suddenly and walked next to the other man, reaching out to gently put a hand on the thick forearm in a consoling manner. "What's wrong?"</p>
<p>Derek froze to the touch, there was no other description for it. The moment the hand was on his tanned skin, his muscles tensed over more and his breathing hitched. All he had needed were a few more minutes to work on his control, because it wasn't as tightly kept as normally. Stiles had seemed to think otherwise, was stubborn enough to decide a few minutes were too long to grab drinks so he followed. Of course he had, and now the Hale was overwhelmed by his scent again. He couldn't even explain what was wrong, because that meant acknowledging his attraction and toying with the human's emotions too much.<br/><br/>It was only day two of two weeks of Stiles and he was already failing miserably to be around him. It wasn't like he was subtle at the moment, and the only reason the younger man didn't pick up on what the problem was, was because he was utterly human and couldn't smell it on Derek.<br/><br/><em>What’s wrong?<br/></em><br/>Easily answered. What was wrong was the fact he wanted to crowd Stiles against the fridge and kiss him until his lips parted so he could take and lick and taste. Because he now knew there was interest, he knew he could have it, if he dared to ask. His control was so frayed and barely there that he didn't realize he was doing what he had been thinking about. Stiles was pressed against the counter with the werewolf's body blocking him, pressed against him while his heart thundered too loudly.<br/><br/>With the last shred of control, he pushed his face into Stiles' neck to breathe in his scent, hoping that would calm him so he wouldn't kiss the human and ruin everything.</p>
<p>Confusion became the word of the afternoon, it seemed. Stiles wanted to ask what was happening when in the blink of an eye Derek moved and his waist hit the edge of the counter, making him huff from the sudden uncomfortable – though not painful – contact. And then he was looking into the fierce glowing red eyes of an alpha werewolf, his own body bracketed by the toned arms.<br/><br/>Stiles' breathing hitched, his heart skipping a few beats then started to pound like crazy. Not from fear, though. Every normal human would be intimidated and probably scared from a situation like this – an alpha wolf's control slipping – but Stiles was neither just any human nor normal. He reacted like this because of the sudden physical closeness of Derek. The heat of that hard body, along with the familiar scent as it hit him like a brick wall, making him slightly dizzy. But the glowing red eyes and that unfathomable expression on the other man's face stopped the room from tilting, anchoring Stiles into that moment.<br/><br/>He didn't know what was going to happen. He knew what he <em>wanted</em> to happen. He even glimpsed down at Derek's lips for a brief second when he started to move towards him. But not in his mouth's direction. In the end, he buried his face into his neck and scented him. Fucking scented him! Not that Stiles minded. He choked on a moan and his lips opened on a wrecked gasp instead. His eyes rolled closed from the hot breath on his exposed neck and feeling it... feeling something unmistakably pressing against his thigh. That realization made his cheeks flush a deep red, the color spreading to the tip of his ears and down on his goose fleshed neck.<br/><br/>All his detective skills failed him as his mind was shutting down, not being able to figure out what made Derek act like this, but he wasn't complaining. He wanted to secretly enjoy this amazing closeness as long as he could. He was paralyzed, but not like in school from the kanima's venom years ago. This time he could've moved, but he didn't aside from putting his arms around Derek to hold him close – not to push him away.</p>
<p>When they had first met, Stiles had reeked of fear all the time around him, although that had changed remarkably fast. Where a lot of people had feared him, Stiles had adapted and had realized it had been a Derek thing. And now... Now it wasn't fear anymore, it was a whole lot of interest and arousal. It felt like he doused the wolf in it, the way it bloomed the moment Derek had him against the counter. It should have worked to scent him.<br/><br/>The idea was to press his face against the neck, rub his own skin against it to calm him and anchor him. But Stiles had the indecency to gasp, to blush all over, so the Hale was well aware of what was happening, his body happily reacting to it all. It was torture to be this close and not do anything, to harshly pant against the pale skin like he was a teenager without control, to be aching like this. And the younger man didn't even push him away, didn't do anything else but wrap his arms around him to allow him this. Sheer acceptance of who and what Derek was without questioning it.<br/><br/>Maybe that's why he didn't do more, that sobering knowledge that Stiles would let him do anything. It would be taking advantage of the crush. Tightly clenching his eyes, he took a few shuddering breaths, his lips trailing along the blushing heated skin, his eyes burning red and everything refused to calm down. Two days and he was ready to ravage the sheriff's son in his own kitchen, against a counter.<br/><br/>As swift as he was to press against Stiles, as quick he was to pull away, creating distance between them by putting the dining table between them as a barrier while he pressed against the wall, looking down.</p>
<p>
  <em>Alpha, beta, omega<br/></em>
  <em>Alpha, beta, omega<br/></em>
  <em>Alpha, beta, omega</em>
</p>
<p>He repeated the mantra a few times, as if that would chase off his attraction. As if that had ever helped him before.</p>
<p>The skin on Stiles’ neck was burning where Derek's lips and stubble have brushed against it. Where he marked him with his scent... That thought made him hopelessly throb in his pants, reacting the same way the other man's body clearly did. Not that Stiles ever doubted that the wolf could smell each time he got even a tiny bit aroused around him. Gosh, he had told Stiles countless of times how he could smell the excitement on him too. So yeah... he was now really, very busted. Only a fool wouldn't see the burning desire in the amber eyes. And perhaps something deeper too.<br/><br/>The loss of the heat of Derek's body was like a shock to Stiles' system. The cooler air rushed against him as Derek was suddenly on the other side of the kitchen, avoiding eye-contact and probably saying his usual mantra. It only showed the panting man how close Derek was to losing control.<br/><br/>Was this because of not being fully recovered yet? Or missing half of his soul? Or did Stiles cause this himself? He kinda couldn't believe the last option, because he didn't think that high of himself or his possible effects on Derek. Maybe it was the combination of all three?<br/><br/>He didn't know and couldn't care in that moment as he was holding onto the edge of the counter as if his life depended on it, knuckles turning white as he was still panting hard. His heartbeats weren't slowing and he could feel that pull stronger again. Warming his middle, unfurling all kinds of feelings and wants in him as he was watching the struggling alpha. He didn't know that there was a dim shimmering of amber fire in his eyes as he struggled to put together a coherent thought. But there was an urge growing in his throat, pressing against his tongue, teeth and mouth, tightening his chest. Like a tidal wave, pushing out of him to pull something back with the unrelenting force of nature. Time seemed to slow down and then stood still in the crackling tension between them. Then Stiles uttered one word:<br/><br/>"<em>Derek</em>."</p>
<p>It was like giving permission, a green light, a breaking of the strange spell between them. When his name was spoken in a hoarse, guttural breath, <em>he had to</em>. It wasn't a choice anymore to stay away, his resolve, what little there had been left, crumbled with a snap.<br/><br/>What happened was purely instinctual, because he didn't recall making the choice to leap to Stiles but he did. Right over the table to press against the human once more. And this time it wasn't the neck which had his attention. Stiles wanted him, wanted him <em>so badly</em> that it was hard to breathe and not inhale all those emotions. They mingled with his own, increased his own want, reduced his thinking capacity. Not that there was much thinking happening anymore.<br/><br/>Strong arms wrapped around the lighter body, pressing them closely together, taking advantage of their similar height. It wasn't a chaste beginning, there was no finesse to the kiss. No permission asked to enter those lips because as Stiles gasped, Derek licked into the inviting warmth to taste him. His need wasn't just to express his want, but to breathe in Stiles, to take his breath and everything he had to offer, soak in him. Kissing him was like two magnets finally being allowed to click together, two puzzle pieces falling into place. Kissing Stiles was like dying and being revived.<br/><br/><em>His</em>. He was his, had to be his.</p>
<p>This time Stiles was prepared. This time he braced himself as best as he could while watching Derek leap to him as if pulled on a string. He answered his call without hesitation. Not fighting it, just giving in. Stiles gave in too and welcomed him with open arms. The moment their lips crushed together, his knees went weak and he gasped. When Derek's tongue pushed past his lips, his tongue answered his call without hesitation too. His arms were back around the broad back, fingers curling into fists around Derek's shirt to keep him close, to pull him <em>closer</em>.<br/><br/>Stiles' mind was wiped completely clean as he tried to mold his body into one with Derek's. It was an all teeth and tongue kiss. Passionate. Feral. Hungry. Overwhelming. The most fucking perfect kiss he’s ever had! It made his body hum with excitement and anticipation. Made it tingle and flood with warmth and need. Set his whole being on fire. Focusing on breathing through his nose proved to be a difficult task, but he somehow managed, just because he never wanted this kiss to end.<br/><br/>His hands slid up to cup the stubbly cheeks for a few moments then ended up in the dark hair, grabbing and pulling it in his passion. His body was trembling like a leaf, pressing even closer to the broader one. He could feel all those hard muscles, that hard erection against him. It all made thinking clearly even more impossible. And the taste... that musky ting mixing into Derek's own taste and the magic that came with being a born werewolf... It was the best taste like <em>ever</em>!<br/><br/>It drove Stiles on to give just as good as he was getting. The wet sounds of their kissing and the soft moans and growls they both made filled the kitchen. And Stiles' hips came alive too, rubbing himself slowly but steadily against Derek's bulge once he hooked a leg behind his calf.<br/><br/>No one and nothing could've prepared him for this. How intense this was going to be after years of just fantasizing about it. This... this was where he wanted to belong. This was what he wanted all his life. This was what he's been waiting for.<br/><br/>Derek. Always Derek.</p>
<p>There was no other need but to drown in Stiles' exhales, tasting him over and over until the chemical aftertaste of the Red Vines disappeared to leave only Stiles in its wake. It was desperate and hungry, hips rutting to meet the frantic languid push of the other even though it was supposed to be kissing only. They both forgot the world around them, forgot that there was a child about to wake up, forgot they were dry humping like teens in the Stilinski kitchen. Derek only wanted to be forever close to the cooler body, drown in the scents and die happily for a change.<br/><br/>The chemo signals spilling over to him were letting him know Stiles wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more. After all these years of distant crushes and frantic solo groping in showers to feel ashamed and dirty, the reality didn't even come close to the fantasy. If they would kiss and only kiss like this forever, he'd be okay with that. Hands had found themselves in his hair, tugging, keeping him pressed against the opened lips. His own weren't idle either, they slipped under the shirt to get to skin.<br/><br/>The contact was as intoxicating as their kiss, even though he didn't move his hands, he kept them splayed on the pale skin in a possessive gesture at the small of his back so their hips wouldn't be able to create distance. He wanted to bite and mark and take, keep the human right here with him because finally he felt something. He didn't need pain to have an emotion, he needed Stiles.<br/><br/>"Stiles," he groaned softly, nibbling at the swollen bottom lip, sucking on it. The name calling wasn't to put a stop to it, it was more like a caress, a praise. A declaration.</p>
<p>Those big hands were burning his naked skin where they were splayed. That touch made goose bumps rise on his whole back, as if stirring up his energies even more. But it wasn't just that. It was also from the not really hidden possessiveness in it which Stiles sensed on a basic level and had no fucking objection against it. It felt <em>good</em>. So right that it made his head even dizzier.<br/><br/>But what made a strangled sound rush past his nibbled and already sensitive bottom lip was the way Derek groaned his name. It was a never before heard soft tone which carried desire and an even more basic need. Derek <em>wanted</em> him this close. He wanted their mind-blowing kisses... He rubbed himself back against Stiles' trapped cock which was so damn hard that he knew he could come just from the exciting dry humping. He really felt like a teenager. Sneaking around behind his dad's back to do this, never sure when he would have to jump away and pretend that nothing happened.<br/><br/>This wasn't the case now, though. They were alone aside from the sleeping Beth upstairs. It was just the two of them. Closer than Stiles ever could have believed they would get. Not just physically but emotionally too. He could've cried in that moment he heard Derek say his name like that. He wanted this for such a long time and it was even better than when he imagined it on lonely nights with one hand under his boxers. Or when he felt down and lonely and would've killed for a morsel of affection. And now... now Derek's voice was so loaded while uttering his name...<br/><br/>His hands' grip softened in the thick dark hair, one hand sliding down to Derek's nape, lightly rubbing and caressing it as he mirrored what the other man was doing and nipped back at his bottom lip, breathing raggedly and feeling as if he was drugged or drunk. He was drunk on Derek from "only" this mind-blowing kiss.<br/><br/>Aaand that was the exact moment when he heard the familiar sound of a cruiser's door being slammed shut from outside.</p>
<p>Derek should have heard the cruiser sooner, he should have given them more time to prepare, but he heard it in exactly the same moment as Stiles did. That slamming of the car door which made him jump away from the human on instinct. It was ridiculous, they were adults and there was nothing wrong with what they were doing and yet he really didn't want to get caught like this. Their erections were far too prominent to ignore, painfully hard even and pressing against his jeans. With the way Stiles has been clutching at his hair, it was probably in disarray and Stiles?<br/><br/>Stiles looked completely wrecked. Swollen red lips, shining with saliva, pupils blown, a distinct wet spot from some pre-release in his jeans. Not to mention the matching bulge there. It made the wolf growl, wanting to sink to his knees and taste, to nuzzle into the pants before opening them so he could get Stiles completely undone.</p>
<p>"We should..." he motioned to the stairs and then realized, too late, how that looked. At least he had the decency to color slightly. "Fix ourselves."<br/><br/>There was the jiggling of keys happening to unlock the door so Derek bolted. Straight out rushed upstairs to take care of the problem and not look like he was going to star in a porn shoot soon. Stiles was on his own with his dad, who luckily, wasn't a werewolf and wouldn't be able to smell what has been going on. Because, oh god the smell was <em>so strong</em>.<br/><br/>Derek wasn't ashamed of them, but taking it slow was preferred. There was a distinct feeling that maybe with the urgency they felt, taking it slow wasn't going to happen. Crap... cold shower, cold shower now.</p>
<p>That look on Derek's face as the still red eyes lowered to Stiles' groin... That look right there got burned into his mind. He could still see it once Derek was gone in the next moment and Stiles stood frozen to the spot, still breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon.<br/><br/>"For the love of all the gods and whatnot... <em>Seriously, dad</em>? You cock-blocking bastard..." he muttered under his nose then sighed. "Move... come on, Stiles, just fucking move!" he scolded himself to try making his legs do what they were supposed to.<br/><br/>The next moment he did move too. More like dashed towards the living room couch, realizing that the downstairs bathroom was way too far to make it before bumping into his dad. He must have looked comical as he literally jumped onto the couch and dragged a blanket over his middle, pulling a leg up to hide his... problem. He was still flushed, yeah, but the dimming light in the living room helped hide it more or less. He put a hand over his swollen mouth as if contemplating on something about the movie which was still on.<br/><br/>This was ridiculous but at the same time kinda funny and entertaining too. His heart was still beating wildly and he focused on slowing his breathing to look more or less okay to his sharp-eyed father.<br/><br/>"Hey, kiddo. What are you watching?" Noah stepped into the living room, glimpsing at the flat screen.<br/><br/>"<em>Justice League</em>," Stiles answered on a quite normal voice.<br/><br/>"Is it any good?"<br/><br/>"Can't decide."<br/><br/>"Huh... Are you okay?" the sheriff frowned lightly, noticing the unusually short replies right away.<br/><br/>"Huh? Yeah, of course," he turned his head a bit more towards his dad. "Just a bit tired. Was researching some things during the night," he hurried to stomp down on any suspicion that might arise in Noah. "I'll start dinner in a bit."</p>
<p>Did Derek feel guilty for Stiles having to deal with the sheriff? Not even close. Nope. He took a quick shower, set to as cold as possible which dealt with the problem effectively. It was uncomfortable and not the way he had wanted to make it go away but it was sobering. The way he had pounced on the younger man wasn’t like himself and it was wrong to do.<br/><br/>He just came out of a relationship, even though it had been one struggling for months and for him there had been a break of three years in-between. Which was another reason. He had gone to Hell, was more broken than usual, there was nothing to offer. Stiles was a detective in San Francisco, on his way to have a promising career. The human didn't need to be burdened by a failing werewolf and a hybrid toddler. Maybe they should have sex and get it out of their system but… That wasn't the kind of person he was. Casual hookups just for sex? It was better not to have any because he didn't need to feel emptier than he already did.<br/><br/>And that was the temptation. Stiles made him <em>feel</em>, like they connected, chasing away the almost debilitating loneliness he felt despite having his daughter to care for. Speaking of... he dressed and decided to get her out of bed, since Stiles was going to start on dinner soon. And okay, it was a way to avoid talking about it, for a bit. He groaned. Two weeks....</p>
<p>Meanwhile Stiles chatted about their day with his dad a bit more before Noah finally went to his room to change and wash up just to afterwards take over the TV. By then Stiles collected himself more or less and his lower regions calmed down too. Using that opportunity, he moved back to the kitchen – decidedly trying to ignore the very spot where his world just turned on its axis because of what went down between him and Derek.<br/><br/>He kinda felt proud of himself that he only blushed once then he managed to focus starting to prepare the dinner he had promised. Roasted chicken with spices and melted cheese on top, some grilled vegetables and mashed potatoes. A light enough dinner, but also having all the nourishing properties a home-made dish should have.<br/><br/>He liked cooking because it gave his mind time to think through things. Like trying to solve his cases – especially when he was stuck on something. Or in this case to think about that heated kiss and what it could mean for the two of them regarding the future. But the million dollar question was: do they have a future... together in the first place? Stiles hoped that this was only the beginning – or rather continuation – of something deeper between them.<br/><br/>He also hoped that Derek wouldn't dance back. He knew the werewolf and his tendencies of self-blame and locking up and persuading himself that something was wrong or his fault. Stiles was far from a religious person, but he did murmur a prayer to the Universe not to let that be the case. Because if it was, it was going to be so much harder now to keep his distance and his emotions in check. In that case... these two weeks are going to be his own personal hell. And he did know about hell. Not like Derek, but he was way too familiar with a different kind. The one that locks you up in your own head and drives you mad with your endless thoughts and doubts.<br/><br/>This possibility dampened his giddy happiness which was caused by those amazing kisses, but by the time they all sat down to the table to eat, he had his usual smirk on his face, babbling about his first funny failed attempts of making food.<br/><br/>They will have time to talk about this later. Or so he hoped...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Last update/edit: 11 May 2021</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>